


No Ground Below

by louissincerely



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Lilac Niall, M/M, also an alpaca wandered into this fic, both of hl tops bc i believe sharing is caring, cupcake fights, cupcakes were harmed in the making of this unfortunately, i got inspired by the wwa tour sa leg, ot5 in south america, tw: homophobic slur(s), tw: physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 10:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3407888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louissincerely/pseuds/louissincerely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You'll never take down the Dream Team, Malik!” Louis calls from their hiding place, receiving a questioning look from Harry.</p>
<p>“Dream Team?” Harry grins at him with amusement. He throws another cupcake, this time hitting Niall.</p>
<p>“Just go with it, Harold. It's much cooler if we have a name. As in best team ever and they just wish they could be as awesome as us.” Louis doesn't even know where this is all coming from. He's known Harry for a week and surely that's not merely enough time for him to feel this attached to him. Or is it?</p>
<p>Or, Uni AU where the boys all go on a trip to South America. Louis needs help with his assignment and also fixing his broken pieces, Harry is a photography student who goes on adventures and has mad baking skills, Zayn is Zayn, Liam gets on Louis' nerves sometimes and Niall has lilac hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Ground Below

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! So, I got inspired by the South American leg of the Where We Are Tour and wrote this monster. I want to thank [OG](http://harrybirthdaytoya.tumblr.com) for being the amazing person she is and helping me through this and being lovely, everyone go send her love now! Seriously, I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you [Lou](http://farawaylou.tumblr.com) for making the [8tracks mix](https://8tracks.com/farawaylou/flying-high-as-a-kite-no-ground-below) and lovely header! And with all that said, happy reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, I'm not representing the real boys or know them personally, the way I portrayed Louis' family in this fic has nothing to do with his real family and they're changed for fic relevance but everything's fictional and it should be treated as such.

 

Maybe Louis should just stick to walking. The air is blazing hot, and he's crammed against people in a tight corner on the bus, bumping into someone every time it breaks or the bus stops. It also doesn't help that some bloke's mouth-breathing on him, and he's also a bit of a spitter.

It's unusual for the weather to be _this_ hot in London, even during summer, and it's only _spring_ for crying out loud. Maybe it's just his luck today. He definitely shouldn't have worn a knit jumper.

He grits his teeth, trying to hold back the scream that's threatening to escape his mouth. Everything is suffocating him:the lack of space, his annoyance, and the urge to throw himself off a cliff. Too bad he _can't_ since he's jammed and probably won't even be able to squeeze his way off at his stop.

He's on his way back to his peaceful, quiet and _cool_ flat. Unfortunately, he won't really have time to relax though because he has to do the assignment that his literature professor so kindly gave Louis' class. He's also partnered up with Eleanor so he supposes things couldn’t really get worse **.**

Today he had to go all the way into central London because apparently having his classes at Uni isn't hard enough; his literature professor decides to go to random places (never the same, because God forbid that!) and holds their classes there. And he's also the kind of teacher who expects only the best work you can accomplish, average is not accepted in his class. He also gets ideas for spontaneous trips with few of the assignments he occasionally gives out that require you to attend them if you want to pass. (Of course the trips are always paid for by fund-raisers, even though it's a rich school, this is how the students pay it off.) The scenery change's supposed to keep the mind fresh and open... All Louis got out of it was getting annoyed on the tube and then the bus, never making it in time for his other classes and not learning all that much with his professor's constant ramblings completely off-subject. He's still the best in the class though, much to Eleanor's dissatisfaction.

Somehow Louis manages to squeeze off that damn vehicle and marches to his flat in a distraught demeanour. He huffs out loudly when he shuts the door behind him with a loud bang.He slides down against the door and runs his fingers through his hair. No use going to his other classes today; he's already missed most of them. He sighs deeply before getting up and ambles to his room.Louis flops on his bed and goes to flick through his phone but after reading his e-mails and aimlessly playing _Flappy Bird_ he remembers that there's something he needs to do.

Right, the assignment.After stripping off his pullover he places it on his bed and then sits down at his desk. It's worth 30% his semester grade, or his and Eleanor's mind since they have to work in partners. It's not one of those easy 'what did you do last summer' essays that you can just bullshit. His professor wants superior works handed to him with an additional presentation to the class, it has to be personal and it can also be a shared experience between partners (and no, Louis' not going for that right this moment, he figures Eleanor will just ignore his contribution anyway). That's what his teacher likes, and sometimes Louis absolutely resents him for it.

There was even mention of a trip that the professor insisted they go on. Well, Louis doesn't really feel like going on a road-trip ‘ _next door_ ’ to come up short with ideas.

He tears a piece of paper from his notepad and starts clicking the pencil angrily against the table as he tries to brain-storm anything adventurous he has done, but no ideas find him and the blank surface stares back at him mockingly. As if it's just taunting him that even if he tries, it'll turn out to be a disaster.

Well at least Louis can say he _tried_. It's not his fault that nothing interesting ever happens to him anymore and that he can't write a stupid story about his _Greatest Adventure_. Who the bloody hell gives assignments like that anyway? His professor must've been on something at the time, he's sure of it. And, of course, it _has_ to be worth 30% of his grade, so Louis can’t even half-ass it― it’s completely unfair that his professor would give him an assignment that could threaten his GPA so severely. He’d drop the class, but the drop-by date went by last week. He’s checked. He can't help it though that he loves literature and his teacher sometimes _does_ have good points and that leaves Louis not having the heart tolet the class go.He sighs defeated and leaves his desk,contemplating on coming back to actually write something, _anything_.

Louis pads into the kitchen in search of his tub of special strawberry ice cream, which is hidden in the back of the freezer. After Zayn had his little fit about “healthy eating” and how they’d all be fat by the time they were thirty, Louis had had to hide his precious ice cream in a spot of safety. Luckily Zayn tends to forget about his New Year's resolutions after a few weeks but Louis was too lazy to retrieve the carefully placed frozen goods until now.

Now though, Louis just needs to comfort himself because his life is literally boring and the definition of uninteresting and nothing noteworthy ever happens to him, so eating ice cream and watching _Keeping up with the Kardashians_ just dulls the pain. He's not even surprised when he wakes up a few hours later to find that the contents of ice cream he didn't finish is now in melted splatters all across his clothes and there's a sticky wet patch on the carpet beneath him. He barely registers the door unlocking and Zayn slipping inside, too engrossed by his surroundings of pink stickiness and still feeling groggy from sleep.

“Hey bebz, I'm home— what did you do now, Louis?” Zayn sighs as he puts his keys down on the kitchen counter, slinging his bag off his shoulder. Louis looks at him like a dear caught in headlights and he does so much not to pout. After Zayn gives the pink ice cream a hard glare, Louis receives his classic perceptive look which says ‘ _talk now because you know I'm not going to stop asking about it’_ and he swears Zayn’s learnt to read his mind by now. But no, Louis absolutely doesn't want to talk about how he feels completely useless and like a failure all the time and that his life consists of nothingness as of late and that he can't even write a damn essay about some fictional fantasy as his _Greatest Adventure_. (Which Eleanor still won’t really care about, so why does _he_ care?)

 

But he does owe it to Zayn to tell him. He has been his best friend ever since they started Uni together, back when Louis was always the life of the party and everybody adored him. Well, adored as in he was _the funny one_ and he made people laugh by making an idiot out of himself and being reckless all the time. Never having a sober moment, blinded by all the attention and always having someone to take home with him every night. Not that he cared to learn their names after that, they were usually gone by morning.But all that partying and having fun was just a facade to get away from his problems. Zayn, bless him, was always there for Louis on nights he couldn't take it anymore or had complete breakdowns as a shoulder to cry on and he listened and understood every time. After a few smokes and crying Louis was well enough to go back to putting on the act but Zayn always saw right through him and gave him reassuring touches every so often.

This went on up until they were second years, when that night happened. The one Louis never wishes to revisit ever again.

***

_It's a casual Saturday night, or as casual as a massive party can be for Louis. He's not even sure who he's snogging at the moment, all he knows is that the guy's a terrible kisser and he's definitely not sleeping with him based on those skills. He's too drunk to pull away though. The constant feeling of lips pressed against his is intoxicating._

_Thankfully he's suddenly hauled away by his shoulders, losing contact with mystery boy (thank God) and the next thing he knows Zayn's pushing him into a deserted room. (Whose place is this anyway?)_

_"What Zaaaaayn, I was havin' funnnn!" Louis slurs groggily, leaning against the wall for support. Is Zayn checking up on him again to see if he's doing fine? He swears; ever since he told him about his family situation Zayn's been nothing but concerned._

_"Well that will have to wait," Zayn says seriously, prompting Louis to pay attention to him by snapping his fingers in front of his face._

_"Why?" Louis bats his hand away, giving Zayn his desired attention, blinking a few times to avert falling asleep._

_"Your father's downstairs."_

_"What?!" Louis immediately freezes, the mention of his father completely catching him off guard. Of course, Mark's not his actual father but he did raise him. Why is Mark here though? Louis hasn't talked to him in ages. Not since Louis had left his family along with the monthly visits to his dad. Does he even know about Louis being gay? He never told him, but then again his mother might've. Did he finally have the balls to visit him at Uni now? Louis' also tipsy but this sudden shock made him sober up a bit. Hopefully he won't slur anything._

_"You left your phone with me so when it received a text I automatically opened it, I'm sorry― you can be angry with me for that later, but he said he's here waiting for you," Zayn elaborates, the concern never faltering from his features. Louis doesn't actually know how to process that information._

_"I― what does he want?"_

_"I don't know, Lou. Maybe it's good?"_

_"Maybe..."_

_"Good luck."_

_"Yeah," Louis sighs and leaves Zayn in the room without further comment, passing a lot of intoxicated people dancing, and finally making his exit out to the cool air. It's a bit chilly but of course it would be since it_ _’_ _s winter. Fortunately the alcohol is keeping him warm for now. He spots Mark sitting on one of the benches and Louis makes his way over. His heart's racing, he really doesn't know what to expect._

_Mark notices him and instantly stands up when Louis greets him with a weak 'hi' and a hesitant smile. His dad's not so keen on returning the gesture but despite that, still holds out his hand for Louis to shake. Since when do they do handshakes? Louis figures he shouldn't have expected a hug though… He can’t help the disappointment that washes over him, making his stomach drop._

_There's also a slight grimace on Mark's face when he greets him with a "Hello, Louis"._

_"So, how come you're here?" Louis inquires because they've been standing silently in the cold for a while now and he can feel the tension in the air._

_"I've been told by your mother that you've been in contact with Lottie for the past couple of months."_

_It's true— somehow Lottie found him on Facebook (okay, that’s not really a surprise) and they started chatting almost every day about stupid little things like how was school or asking for Louis' help in doing her homework. He was just happy to finally be able to talk with his sister again._

_"Yeah, we've been catching up," Louis tells him a bit bemused. What is Mark getting at with this? "I miss all of them so much."_

_"Well, I want you to stop talking to her," Mark says, his tone harsh and it makes Louis take a step back in shock. His heart sinks and then starts beating frantically. "I don't want you near any of them."_

_"What?" Louis breathes, angry tears starting to form and threatening to spill. "NO!"_

_"You will not talk to them ever again, I forbid you from it," Mark threatens and raises a finger warningly. Louis feels like his whole world's falling apart. Why can't he contact his sisters again? This is completely unfair; they're his sisters!_

_"You can't— you can't do that!" Louis cries out desperately trying not to throw up from Mark's statement. The thought of Louis losing his siblings makes him sick. Him missing the twins growing up, Lottie’s first boyfriend, or even worse: them forgetting about him? It makes his insides twist and his heart rip into pieces. They’re the piece of him that's still a beacon of hope for him, the only thing keeping him from crumbling because they're the only good thing left in Louis' life. But now Mark's taking them away from him._

_"I don't want my daughters near my disappointment of a faggot son," his dad sneers, almost spitting out the words like they're absolute filth to even say them out loud. "I swear, if I could go back and send you to an orphanage back when you were a kid, I would. I would've never raised my son to be like this."_

_"But you did raise me!"_

_"Yes, and I'm ashamed of how big of a burden you are to us," Mark shakes his head in despair. "I wish you were never born."_

_Louis breathes in a sudden gasp. His whole body automatically loses the ability to function for a few seconds before he can regain his balance. The statement hits him harder than a thousand bullets. He feels dizzy and sick to his stomach. There's a sudden wave of anger bubbling to the surface and everything just explodes._

_"Fuck you! Fuck off and don't ever think of coming back!" Louis yells at the top of his lungs, his anger pulsing through him more and more by the minute and shoves back Mark by his shoulders._

_Mark, astounded by Louis' outburst, slaps him back hard across his face, which makes Louis topple to the cold ground with the echo of the hit coursing through the empty courtyard. Louis can feel his left cheek starting to burn, the slap efficiently marking his face. He holds onto the side of his face because the burning won't dissipate and his tears are slowly making their way down his cheeks now. He can't even find a response to that; he's suddenly so shocked and mortified._

_"You won't have to worry about that, boy," Mark brushes himself off, and after spitting next to Louis' trembling body, he heads off without another word._

_Frostbitten ground. That's all he can feel coursing through his veins like poison attacking his system. He's lying almost lifeless on frostbitten ground. Nothing matters anymore. Why should anything matter? He has nothing left. He lost his last beacon of light in the dark and frosty night where his stepfather left him to crumble._

_Well now he is. Crumbling for that matter. Louis's slowly losing himself. He just lost everything that still meant something to him. Stolen from him without reason. Cheated. That's how it feels anyway..._

_Maybe if he stays here he'll freeze with the ground too. And the tears silently rolling down his cheeks won't mean anything more than just little crystals frozen with him too. His sobs might crystalize as well. Each and every breath he exhales with his whimpering slowly turning solid; his heart not being able to soothe his coldness with warmth or love. It's been ripped from him. Another piece just missing out of the jigsaw puzzle, never completing the picture ever again._

_Sad beyond repair, isolated, angry, hurt, confused, scared, alone, frozen. These don't even describe how he feels in all honesty. Also empty; the warmness and giddiness from the alcohol seeping out of him, leaving him like an empty shell._

_There's nothing he can do about it. He knows he can't go on with the façade though... he just can't. He doesn't feel like pretending anymore; it hurts too much. But all he wanted to do was make them proud..._

_“F-forgive… me―”_

_Louis closes his eyes and lets himself be taken by the cold before he can see a shaken Zayn running towards him desperately shouting his name._

***

So now it just wouldn't be fair to labor Zayn with all his insecurities and whining because he brought this on himself. It's no use complaining about something that can't be fixed, that thing being Louis.

“Nothing Zayn, I just fell asleep. This project'sreally wearing me out and I thought I'd take a break and watch some telly for a while. Guess I lost track of time.” Louis shrugs and gives Zayn his most believable _I'm fine_ look, prompting him to just drop it. Zayn shakes his head but doesn't push the subject and Louis gives him a bone crushing hug when he collects himself off the sofa as an unsaid thank you.

“It’s okay, Lou, you'll tell me eventually. I'm actually quite knackered myself. Fancy a quick smoke before we go or should we just leave now to get something to eat?” Zayn asks, releasing Louis and getting out a pack of cigarettes from his leather jacket. Louis will probably let it out sooner or later.

“Yeah, I could use it right now.” Louis takes an offered cigarette and Zayn says nothing else, just puts one between his lips and steps out onto the small balcony, Louis following closely behind. They're convenient for the flats for exactly these reasons (no one likes to set off the smoke detectors; it's a complete mess).

“You know, I wonder what it would be like to actually have something going for you,” Louis says between breathing in the soothing nicotine and letting it out in long puffs. Louis doesn't smoke as often as Zayn, but sometimes heneeds it to calm his nerves. And oops, sooner or later just became soonerand Louis can feel the need to talk bubbling up inside him. He should've seen this coming. Zayn usually gets him talking when he's sedated or is on the edge of a breakdown. 

“Lou, not this again...”

“Well I'm sorry if I get upset over my life being completely shit!” Louis says exasperatedly and runs his free hand through his hair. He can feel a tear threatening to spill. “It's just, I'm constantly second guessing how everything I do is going to turn out to hurt me and I can't even write something made up as some big adventure I've had! I keep thinking you'd be better off without me and that you'll realize as well and—” _leave me too, like everyone does, eventually_ , he wants to say but bites it back before he can say it out loud. He wants to reassure Zayn that everything's fine and it's just another one of his useless anxiety runs but now he's full on sobbing and Zayn doesn't even hesitate before he's pulling him into a hug, holding Louis until he calms down.

“Shh, it's okay, I'm here Lou. I always will be.” Zayn rubs slow circles into Louis' back, and that's what he needs right now. Some sense of safety and security. He knows Zayn will never _really_ leave him, he's been here for him since the start, but sometimes he just needs to be reminded that he has people that love him unconditionally.

“I love you so fucking much, Zayn” Louis sobs into Zayn's now tear stained and snotty shirt. “And I know you love me too, especially since I just snotted all over your favorite shirt.”

“Now what would make you think that?” Zayn chuckles as he pushes Louis away who gives an undignified ‘ _hey’_ at his comment. He really does love Zayn, but it’s a shame that he didn’t fall _in_ love with him. Things would be much easier if they both just weren’t hopeless romantics (Louis will never admit that out loud) and would just settle for each other. They're just not each other’s types.

He knows that Zayn wants someone who's buff and intelligent as well... well go figure. And also probably someone who's emotionally more stable than Louis is.

Louis isn't quite sure what he's looking for in a guy, but he knows Zayn's not it. He probably wants someone who makes him feel completely safe and wanted, and at home. Someone that could fill gaps he needs filled in his life: a pinch of love, a dollop of warm affectionate kisses... and some fresh baked cookies certainly wouldn't hurt. All Louis really knows is that he has yet to meet the guy who will fulfill his wants, and he just hopes that when he finds him, he'll be able to convince him to stay.

Of course, Louis knows that some sort of Prince Charming would be impossible to find, but a man can dream, right?

Don't get Louis wrong, Zayn is _really_ attractive and looks like the Greek gods have sculpted his cheekbones and the rest of his body too. He also looks like a vogue model even in his sweats or when he's just wearing a ratty old t-shirt... which, in Louis’ opinion, is completely unfair. Anyone with eyes can tell that Zayn is practically a divine being.It's just they know each other too well and already established that their feelings don't go beyond brotherly caring.

Louis sniffles a bit but playfully punches Zayn's arm once he sees the state of his shirt and cries out ‘ _that's disgusting, Lou’_ and leaves Louis in the living room to change.

“I’m hungry. Why don’t we go check out that sandwich shop that Niall is always talking about? I’m sure he won’t complain about having to go again,” Louis yells across the apartment. He needs proper food in his system, and maybe Niall will finally shut up about that place once they go because he's always there. Highly likely that Niall has already started living there.

“Oh yeah, I heard it's also a bakery and a cafe. But I'll doubt we'll find seats; that's the new favorite hangout on campus and almost everyone goes there,” Zayn calls back from his room where he's probably also fixing his quiff.

“That’s why we’re taking Niall — he’s always there! I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already befriended the whole staff and gets free food. I _need_ free food, Zayn!”

“Okay okay, but I'm blaming you if I also have to pay for your shit because you can't be arsed to bring money and we end up paying anyway.”Zayn emerges from his room, now wearing his tight red shirt **.** This is odd, because Zayn only ever wears that shirt when he wants to impress someone. Louis is suspicious.

“And what's got you to wear that? I don't think the sandwiches need impressing or seducing.Is this some kind of new kink of yours that I wasn't aware of?” Louis teases, and Zayn's cheeks colour a beautiful shade of red but it's only slightly noticeable since he has slightly darker skin than Louis. He pauses with a sudden realization: Zayn is making an effort to look good for someone! He grins mischievously, but Zayn looks away.

“Shut up. Let's just go— I texted Niall and he's waiting for us downstairs,” Zayn says and refuses to make eye-contact with Louis.

“Who is it?” Louis grins but Zayn still avoids his gaze.

“Fuck off.”

Louis gives him a knowing smirk but doesn't comment on it further and closes the door behind him when they leave their shabby, little flat.

*

“Minions!” A familiar voice calls from the bottom of the steps and springs up in joy at the sight of seeing Louis and Zayn. Only Niall can look so happy all the goddamn time and as much as it's a bit too much sometimes, especially when he's in a foul mood, he loves the Irish blonde nonetheless.

Niall's the best really, he'll always be up for a drink and can party hard without having a massive hangover afterwards (lucky bastard), but besides that he really is an amazing friend, always trying to brighten the mood and laughing at jokes that aren't even all that funny but Niall just laughs like it's the best thing he's ever heard. He’s one of the only people who can make uncomfortable situations into funny ones, or just ease the tension with just being an absolute delight. Niall’s truly amazing.

It's no surprise that the three of them became best friends after that prank they pulled off in their second year of Uni. Niall was still a first year but Louis and Zayn took him under their wing and basically they've been inseparable ever since. Everyone still mentions it occasionally and Louis can't help the smug smile that breaks from his lips every time. Because yeah, it was the best prank ever.

Basically it involved a crowd of angry students and professors, toilet paper, glitter, paintballs, silly string and a hell of a lot of battle cries.

Even though it's an unsaid thing between them, Niall knows how much that night impacted Louis, and he wasn't even bothered by the sudden change in his demeanor. Back then Louis told him that maybe they couldn't be friends anymore because he won't be the same and didn't want Niall to have a friend that couldn't go out with him and have fun like they used to.But Niall just said ‘ _that's bullshit, Lou’_ and he never really left since then.

“Nialler!” Louis breaks into a sprint down the steps and leaps into Niall's open arms. The younger boy gives a chuckle and reaches for Zayn too, crushing Louis between them.

“It's good to see you man, I've missed you,” Niall says once they've broken apart. They exit the building and start walking in the direction of where the sandwich shop/bakery/café is.

“It's only been two days, you sap,” Louis says and then ruffles Niall's blonde-- no, wait, _lilac_ hair? “And what have you done with your hair!” He cries out suddenly, startling Zayn a bit but making him inspect said hair immediately.

“S'just the tips and―”

“Just the tips? It’s the whole bloody thing!” Louis exclaims in an almost a high-pitched voice.

“―It was pretty much Harry's idea. It's this bet we had goin' and if I lost I had to dye me hair.” Niall shrugs, and runs his fingers through his lilac strands of hair. And _Harry_? Who the hell is this Harry? Louis will be having a word with this bloke that's for sure. How did he even manage to get Niall to agree to such a preposterous colour anyway?

“Who's Harry?” Zayn supplies because of course they were thinking the same thing. Why didn't Niall mention Harry to them once?

“Ah, he's a good lad, we share an art class and he's wicked with photographs. We hung out a few times; he's really nice,” Niall says with a big grin, talking about Harry like he's the sun. “Oh and he's right fit for a bloke,” he adds and then winks at both of them, letting out a bright cackle.

“Good lad, nice little body, huh?” Louis smirks but rolls his eyes fondly at his friend who laughs even harder at that for no apparent reason and Zayn snorts.

“You'll see for yourself, Lou, he'll be there as well,” Niall informs them, making Louis' head snap up. Oh _really_ , well this'll be interesting then won't it? And he won't have to wait ages to finally meet the guy and see who Niall has been associating with.

“You _invited_ him? Without telling us?” Zayn says incredulously giving Niall a stern look.

“No, you twat, he works there. He's been really generous with sneaking me some cookies.”

“Yes! Free food, I told you Zaynie. I like him already.” Louis throws up his hands in a victorious manner and puts his arm around Niall's shoulder. Zayn just rolls his eyes and goes to check something on his phone.

“You know Tommo, I think you and Harry will really get along. You two are almost like the same person, except you're not but I think that'd be scary. I dunno, I just have this feeling,” Niall says after they've been walking for a while with casually bickering about stuff that aren't important.

Louis hums in acknowledgement but doesn't make a remark on it. It's unlikely that Harry's even half the same as Louis is inside. It's not like Louis' anxious _all_ the time, but sometimes his demons come to haunt him and he _breaks_ , he just breaks.

They're just about to round the corner to the deli when his phone buzzes. He sees his screen light up with the name Eleanor. _Shit_. When will she finally stop harassing him about things he couldn't care less about?

“Who is it, Lou?” Zayn asks, his expression searching, clearly seeing the annoyance on Louis' face. Zayn worries too much.

“It's just El. You guys go ahead, I'll be there in a few,” he waves them off and presses accept on his phone. He sees Zayn nod and head off with Niall in the other direction before he turns away.

“What do you want, El? I don't really have time for this now,” Louis says impatiently, he just _really_ really wants this conversation to be over. One time he declined her call and she kept pestering him for _days_ afterwards. He knows better by now, _do not upset vicious petite girls or else they'll bite you in the_ _arse_ _._

“Hello, Lou. This won't take long, promise. I just wanted to let you know that the professor is giving us extra credit on our assignment if we participate in the two week trip the photography and art students are taking in a month or so, and we write about that in our essay.”

“Yes, I already know that. Why are you telling me this?” Louis says impatiently.

“Well you haven't done much recently, have you?” Eleanor points out condescendingly.

“That's not really any of your business,” Louis spits sharply because really, who is _she_ to condemn his actions. “What do you want?”

“I'm not calling to lecture you about your lack of interest and activeness outside of classes. But you know that we're partners and if you fail, I fail,” she warns him calmly but by the way her voice suddenly got higher Louis guesses she's on the verge of pulling her hair out.

“Just spit it out already, El.”

“You have to go on the trip.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Please, Lou. I can't go because I have a family thing the first week, and at least one of us has to be there for both weeks. So you have to go on the first and if youwant I canswitch places with you for the second week,” Eleanor pleads, she'd probably be on her knees begging Louis if it weren't for the distance separating them (thank God). He can't believe the professor paired them up for this assignment, they're practically rivals.

“Fly out? You mean it's not in England. And we have to travel there. By plane,” Louis says slowly, processing the information.

“Yes, Lou, people don't usually go on flights to Buckingham Palace, they go to another city, country or continent,” Eleanor mocks but then adds as an afterthought. “Seriously, how am I still the second best? You're so slow sometimes.”

Louis rolls his eyes but stays on the topic at hand. “Where are we flying out to?”

“I don't know, somewhere in South America,” Eleanor says nonchalantly and Louis squeaks in surprise. Which he hopes Eleanor didn't catch.

“Jesus, you could've mentioned that sooner! And I've never been on a plane before!” Louis says exasperatedly, people passing by giving him funny looks.

“But you'll go?” She says cautiously, her voice slow.

“I think I'm going to shit myself, honestly.” Louis sighs and rests his forehead against the bricks of the building he's standing next to.

“Stop being a cryptic asshole, we don’t have time for that.”

Louis heaves another sigh. “Yes, I’ll go.”

Eleanor screeches happily but adds, “If you don't want to stay there for the second week just call me, okay? I'm still going for the second week either way.”

“Sure thing, and you'll have to buy me complimentary ice cream. Can't have me being sad.”

“No, we can't. Okay, Lou, I'll send you the details later. I'm at Uni, mind if I sign us up?”

“That would be great, thanks.”

Louis hangs up and lets out a sigh into the cold air, even though it's spring, it's still chilly in London.Well, unlike earlier today when it was scorching hot. That’s England for you. He glances up at the grey sky, clouds looming above him looking like they might let a few drops of water escape them.

Louis sometimes feels like that. Contemplating on letting a few tears fall free from flooding his vision. Like maybe the greyness of the sky is just an illusion, and is really just the mirror of his soul. Maybe _someday_ light and color will return to him. For now he just breathes in and let's his thoughts stray away until they're far enough so he can ignore them.

Just as he's pushing away from the wall that has grounded him so far, a body collides with him from the back, making him topple to the ground face first with a loud _oof_.

“Oops! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Do you need help? Should I call an ambulance?” A deep and surprisingly slow voice calls from behind him, panic stricken in his words.

Louis slowly hauls himself off the ground, checking on his phone screen to see if he has any severe cuts on his face. He sees a bruise forming on his right cheek. _Brilliant_ , now he'll have to cover it up with make-up.

He finally looks up and what he sees just sucks the existing oxygen out of his lungs. He's met with _green_. A lot of green actually. Not just because the beautiful boy in front of him has his curly hair held back by a ridiculous green headscarf, but because intense green eyes are staring at him in worry and something else that Louis can't make out.

Curly haired prince is also biting his lower lip, which makes him even more cute and adorable. Louis can't help his eyes from staring at his lips and maybe lingering on them for a moment too long. He's already imagining kissing the boy breathless, making his full pink lips redder with touches and—Louis thinks he might faint and not just because of the concussion he might have.

He's let his mind wander into places it should _not_ wander to with a boy he just met. Wait, they haven't even _met_ , he's just been staring at him probably looking like an idiot.

“Hi,” Louis manages, his voice a little croaky, so he clears it before he speaks again. “No thanks, I'm alright, I hope.”

It takes a second for Curly to register what he's referring to, looking at him with a bemused expression. Then it finally clicks and he slaps a hand to his forehead, dragging it over his face and squinting his nose. “Oh yeah, I'm really sorry about that, mate.”

“No worries, although my face will always remember how big of a klutz you are.” Louis smirks, taking in Curly's long limbs and pigeon feet. Louis just wants to wrap him up in blankets and cuddle him— and is that a weird thing to think about with a stranger?

The boy blushes immediately and mutters a quick ‘ _sorry’_ , making Louis' stomach do backflips. How is he even real?

“Well at least I'm not wearing a shirt with a pink stain on it,” Curly grins victoriously. _Shit_ , Louis knew he forgot _something_. So this guy has sass, well okay.

“It's a style choice, it's called ' _let ice cream melt on you and then wear it to impress boys_ '. Thought I'd have a go at it. Never thought it'd turn out to be ' _get knocked over by a curly giant_ '.” Louis shrugs and Curly haired prince slaps a hand to his knee and _giggles_. Honestly giggles. Louis is awestruck.

“You're something else,” Curly finally says after he catches his breath from almost toppling over with laughter. Louis thinks Curly might've actually collapsed on the floor if he hadn't held his arm. Which was _strong_. But he won't think of that right now.

“I hope that's a good thing,” Louis says eventually and tilts his head to the side. He's just about make a comment on the boy's incredibly tight trousers, when Curly suddenly jolts up like he just awoke from a trance and checks the watch on his wrist.

“Shit, I'm going to be late!” He says and then quickly sends someone a text.

Louis' eyes widen as well, how long has he been here for? It feels like an eternity. Have Niall and Zayn started to worry yet?

“Uh... I should go too,” Louis says as he's looking behind the tall boy, who's staring back at him helplessly.

“Can I see you again?” Curly asks, eyes wide and hopeful. Louis might just jump him right now and snog him senseless on the street. First, he really should stop calling him Curly though.

He clears his throat again, which is suddenly dry (is it the weather getting hotter or has it been _that_ long since Louis had a good shag). “Sure, let's hope I'll be in a gown next time,” Louis says, and cringes because _really_? That's all he could come up with? If you feel stupid, might as well ruin it by saying something even more stupid.

But Curly's whole face lights up and splits into a wide grin. Louis feels actual butterflies in his stomach.

“I'll be looking forward to seeing you in a gown then,” Curly says with a soft smile and then gives Louis a silly wave before he leaves.

“Don't get your hopes up, love!” Louis calls after him before he's out of ear-shot. He sees the boy turn back and break out into a chuckle and give him a thumbs up before Louis turns on the corner and heads towards the shop.

It's a shame that he'll probably never see this charming, curly haired prince again, who's the most ridiculously endearing person he's ever met. It's probably for the best that Louis doesn't know his name. He doesn't need to know the name of the boy who'll break his heart if he lets him get too close.

*

Louis and Zayn get back to their flat just a _little_ tipsy. Okay full on smashed. But in Louis' defense it was Niall's idea that they get a pint after their meal. Zayn was keen on it too, seemingly a bit grumpy because the person he so desperately wanted to please wasn't present.

The boys were a little annoyed at Louis when he finally got there, having to wait half an hour to order something. Louis was a bit distracted okay? Could they honestly blame him for getting lost in deep green eyes and beautiful chocolate curls?

Either way Louis agreed to make it up to Zayn by helping him in some project he needed for his art class but he can't recall what it was about. He’s too drunk to care right now.

Louis steps in something sticky on his way to his comfortable and _quiet_ bed. Everything seems loud at the moment. Or is it just him. Sleep would be good, yes. He'll clean up tomorrow. Maybe.

He unsteadily wobbles to his room, his vision cloudy and he makes to toe off his Toms and slide down his trousers before he gets into his bed. He also realizes the sticky shirt is still on so he flings it away somewhere in the dark room.After that sleep immediately overtakes him.

 

Louis' awoken by three things. One, his obnoxiously loud alarm clock buzzing to let him know he still has classes and it's still a weekday. Two, his head pounding because he's stupid enough to drink on weekdays and now he has a hangover. Three, a familiar feeling in his lower abdomen. He glances down and sees his obvious erection tenting the blanket.

He gently wraps his hand around his length and lazily starts stroking himself, trying not to make too much noise. He doesn't know if Zayn's already up yet. Louis quickly bites his lip when he lets out a small whimper as he gets closer to the edge. Suddenly images of curly hair and green eyes fill his vision and also very plump lips. It only takes a second for Louis to imagine those lips wrapped around him and then he’s gone. He only feels a little guilty about it afterwards.

He gets a few tissues to clean himself off and then discards them in the dustbin. He slowly hauls himself on his feet and notices an aspirin and a water bottle on his nightstand with a post-it attached to it.

_Better take care of that, Lou ;) xx - Z_

_Asshole_ , Louis thinks and then his head suddenly gives a sharp pound, eliciting a hiss. He massages his temple and then swallows the pill, easing it down with the water.

Louis pads into the bathroom and takes a quick shower before he does his skin routine and brushes his teeth. Looking into the mirror he winces at the sight. He looks like shit. Louis doesn't even know how Zayn manages to look the way he does. Lucky bastard. And he needs a haircut as well, his fringe is getting out of control. Louis ruffles his hair to style it a bit but gives up with a sigh and heads out to the kitchen.

Zayn's already sitting on the sofa reading something, probably revising for the exams which are due in a month. Louis should be too in all honesty, especially if he's going to be going on a trip for two weeks. Louis mutters a vague _'morning'_ as he passes the younger man and heads behind the kitchen counter which basically separates the 'kitchen' from the living room.

Zayn glances up from his book when Louis entering the kitchen catches his attention and gives Louis a sly smirk. “Morning Lou, _hard_ night wasn't it?”

“Piss off, Malik,” Louis gives him a stern look while he waits for the water to boil in the kettle and puts a teabag in his mug. “S'not like I haven't walked in on you a couple times as well,” Louis says with a chuckle but now thinking of it he shudders and he can hear the distant giggles from Zayn across the living room.

“We've both seen things we didn't want to,” Zayn says and Louis gives him a smirk and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Don't lie, you know you like seeing my arse,” Louis retorts which makes Zayn snort. He finishes making his tea and joins Zayn on the couch.

“Not your arse I'm talking about, bebz.” Zayn sips his own tea and then jerks up when he remembers something. “Come off it, you do know you're going to help me with my project today right?”

Louis hums in affirmation while he sips his own drink. He hasn't forgotten. He wishes Zayn had though, but he won't back out now since he does owe it to him. After all, Zayn's helped him so much. “So what's the project?”

“You'll see, just meet me in the art studio second period.” Zayn instructs and doesn't elaborate further.

“Ooh, so secretive. I'm curious now, does it include me posing like one of your French models, love?” Louis teases and avoids getting hit by a grape from Zayn who's left the living room to dispose of their mugs in the sink.

“Oh I'm sure you'll love it, Lou.” Zayn just smirks. Okay, so maybe Louis' a bit terrified now.

*

Oh no he didn't. Zayn must've went completely out his mind to think this was a good idea. Bonkers, mad, crazy. Was this a joke? Was fate actually playing some ironic game with him? Or was it just Zayn getting back at him for some stuff Louis did to him in the past? He does admit some of them _were_ nasty. Like ruining his favorite shirt just because Zayn refused to order take-out. Some of them took _days_ for Zayn to speak to Louis again but they were in the past and he has apologized for them.

Or was this because of last night? Did Zayn come up with it yesterday or did he have this in mind for a while now? He might've blabbed about meeting Curly and telling him he would be in a gown next time they met and that might've struck some inspiration in Zayn but this is seriously out of control.

Louis still doesn't know what he did to deserve this, some cruel twist of fate maybe, but it sure is laughing in his face now. All he knows is that Zayn's fitting a gown on him. A fucking _gown_.

“So, you're going on this trip too I take it?” Zayn interrupts Louis' thoughts and hoists the blue fabric higher on Louis' waist. Louis really wasn't paying attention though, too busy trying not to get tangled in the dress. He probably looks proper ridiculous. He _feels_ ridiculous.

“Hmm?”

“To South America? You're going right?”

“Oh that, yeah. El signed us up so I guess— wait what do you mean 'too'?” Louis quirks an eyebrow in confusion.

“It's for photography and _art_ students, you didn't think I'd miss a free trip to Machu Picchu, did you?” Zayn reminds and then pins something in place at Louis' side.

“How come you knew that I was going, I just arranged it with Eleanor yesterday. I don't think I mentioned it to you.” Louis' still a bit confused, he swears Zayn always knows what he's up to. He might be an actual spy or something.Probably _not_.

“Well I was just going to sign up, and then I saw your name there and I thought it was weird too because you didn't tell me about it, but I thought all the more reason to go I guess.” Zayn shrugs and Louis sighs in relief. So he'll have Zayn there with him and he won't have to be alone. That makes Louis feel safer somehow.

“Come off it, how come you're going, Lou?” Zayn asks but doesn't take his eyes off his creation and Louis feels like his skin's crawling because he's been standing still for an hour now. He had to scratch his nose literally every ten minutes before Zayn slapped him to stay put. Since then he hasn't dared to move an inch.

“I told you about that assignment I lashed out about yesterday?” Louis waits for Zayn's input before he continues. Zayn hums in affirmation, urging him to proceed. “El thought of a way to get extra credit and both write this shit, and so I have to go because she can't.”

“Sounds like she's just sending you off, making you write it instead of her so she can relax and stay here.”

“No...it's not like that...”Louis hesitates but Zayn arches a skeptical eyebrow making him surrender in defeat. “Fine, maybe it is. But I do actually want to go.”

“You do? No second guessing, you sure?” Zayn asks tentatively and Louis takes a second to really think it through, but honestly he can't think of a reason why he shouldn't.

Maybe this trip will help him overcome some things and let go of the past. It's been a while since he could properly breathe. He wants to let go, he does... he just needs something to make him. He needs this.

“Yeah... I'm sure, yes.” Louis still feels a bit hesitant but he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It still hasn't sunk in that he's really going to do this. Worst thing that could happen on this trip is if they'd crash, and well that's not really likely.

“You okay, bro?” Zayn places an apprehensive hand on his shoulder and just like that the mask clicks in place, leaving behind all of Louis' worries with it.

“Let's do this! If they don't throw us out the first night, we're doing it wrong,” Louis bellows into the empty room, trying his best to sound enthusiastic and only making the younger student shake his head with a fond smile.

“Done!” Zayn cries out when he finishes what he's currently fixing and then backs up to take in the full view. God this feels embarrassing, for crying out loud Louis' in a _dress_.

“So what's this project about again?” Louis says disgruntled while feeling around the fabric.

“Gender-reversed roles. Overcoming gender-norms. Most creative project gets the highest overall grading.”

“And you had to put _me_ in a dress? Why thank you, Zayn, you made my dreams come true.” Louis huffs and does an exaggerated twirl.

“You're an arse.” Zayn snickers while writing some notes down in his textbook.

“Says the person who puts his best friend in a gown,” Louis gasps mock-offended but can't maintain his serious face any longer and both of them burst into uncontrollable giggles.

Just in the moment they come down from their laughter, Niall passes the door of the art studio and doubles back with a baffled look. “What are you two idiots laughin' about? And why is Louis in a dress?”

“Nialler! Look at what Zayn made me, aren't I beautiful?” Louis flutters his eyelashes and latches onto Niall's neck. He doesn't pay attention to someone else entering the room.

“What the fuck is this, Zayn?” Niall ignores Louis clinging onto him and instead addresses Zayn.

Louis pays no attention to his best friends' banter and walks over to the mirror to fully view the gown. The gown itself is gorgeous, Zayn really outdone himself and did an amazing job. Different shades of blue cascading down his small frame, perfectly highlighting the colour of his eyes. The gown on Louis is just completely ridiculous though.

He even snorts to himself but then completely freezes when he hears someone clear their throat behind him. It's not Zayn nor Niall, he can still hear them now laughing at something. He cautiously turns around and—

“Oh God no.” Louis' eyes widen because it's _him_! It's Curly! How can it be Curly? Why does it have to be _him_?! No. No, no, no, no, _no_. He was _kidding_ when he said next time they'd meet he'd be in a gown. What the actual _fuck_? What stupid game is fate playing with him, Louis bets it's _definitely_ laughing in his face now.

“Uhm, hi,” Curly suddenly says with a small (adorable) smile and awkwardly shifts on his feet. Louis seriously wants to disappear. “We didn't get to properly meet yesterday, I'm Harry.” He offers his hand and Louis bewilderedly takes it, muttering a quick _'Louis'_. Wait, _Harry_?

“ _You're_ Harry?” Louis blinks in surprise. Curly—sorry, Harry looks at him bemused and Louis knows he must seem like a crazy person because he _just_ told him his name, so he elaborates. “Niall told us about you is all.”

“Good things I hope. Niall's great but you never know what he'll go on about.” Harry grins and his dimples start showing and possibly it's the most beautiful thing Louis has ever seen.

“You never know, Harold.”

“It's just Harry,” Harry corrects. Louis arches an eyebrow, oh he'll enjoy teasing him loads with this.

“Well, _Harold_ , I don't like it when people blackmail my friends to dye their hair _lilac_ ,” Louis says with a challenging tone, he's been dying to confront Harry about it.

“It's not blackmail if he lost our bet,” Harry retorts with a smirk.

“And what would that be?”

“Who can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth without choking, loser dyes their hair lilac for a month.”

“Yeah but Niall's gag reflexes are pretty shit.” Louis rolls his eyes, it's easy to win against Niall like that. Harry's smile still doesn't falter though.

“Mine aren't,” Harry says unabashedly and still has a sly smile on his face.

Louis gulps and almost chokes. Okay then. That is information that Louis completely didn't ask for but will absolutely keep for reference in the future. And oh God where has this conversation spiraled to, all he wanted was to ask about the colour. He feels the blush spread on his cheeks and no, Louis does not blush... what is wrong with him. He feels like a blushing teenager with a crush.

“Why lilac?” Louis clears his throat and oh for fuck's sake he's still in that dress. Someone please, just set him on fire already.

“I like the colour.” Harry gestures to his jumper that is also the same colour as Niall's hair. It looks really good on him and Louis maybe just maybe wants to steal it from him. Also once again, his curls are held back by a ridiculous headscarf. He tells as much to Harry.

“Thanks, and heeey, my headscarves are pretty, leave them alone,” Harry whines, drawing out the 'hey' and places a protective hand on his head.

“Never said they weren't, love.” Louis winks and self-consciously runs his hands down the skirt of the dress. Can he take it off now? Zayn should already be done with his sketches and notes.

“You look lovely in it, Louis.” Harry looks into Louis' eyes sincerely and suddenly takes hold of Louis' hand, rubs his thumb along the outside before he gently let's go with a squeeze. Louis fights really hard not to blush again, he really does. “And I don’t really care for gender-norms.”

“Oi, you two, stop flirting around!” Niall calls with a smug look and Louis just turns even redder. He coughs into his hand to hide his face away, maybe they haven't noticed, but the look on Harry tells Louis otherwise and _dammit_. Right, time to change the subject.

“Hey Niall, Zayn and I are going to South America on that trip, feel like joining us?”

“Cool, always wanted to go there, brilliant. Harry, what about you?”

“Oh, I already signed up. All photography students have to go basically.” Harry shrugs and then looks directly at Louis with a soft smile. Louis actually has to calm his butterflies down, this is bad.

“Yes! All of us lads heading to conquer a new continent!” Niall cheers in delight. Zayn's still too engrossed in his notes to be excited but glances up for a moment to smile at the younger student and then buries himself in his textbook once again. Louis doesn't know how to feel. He's happy about Zayn and Niall being there, sure. And Harry? He just doesn't know if he can be just friends with Harry without totally screwing it up. His feeling for him aren’t exactly platonic or innocent in the least bit. Louis can't let Harry in too close or he'll definitely break him.

Or maybe he won't... either way Louis won't risk it. Friends, he can do friends, Louis thinks as the ghost of where Harry's hand had been earlier still burns on his skin.

*

It so happens to turn out that fund-raising can actually be fun. Well, if Louis has anything to do with it; it can. Plus having a trusty side-kick at your side does help. Be it Zayn, Niall or even Harry.

Since their trip is getting paid by doing fund-raisers; Louis and Niall are currently handing out flyers for some event he couldn't give less shits about to unsuspecting pedestrians. Zayn has the misfortune of having a large sign placed on his shoulders displaying the event's name as a sandwichman along with looking completely annoyed most of the time, glaring at anyone who looks at him with amusement. It's not an uncommon thing but that doesn't make it nonetheless hilarious. 

Harry on the other hand is standing behind an actual _cupcake_ podium. No really, it looks like a giant pink cupcake decorated with a huge strawberry on top and also _glitter_? God knows where he got it from but Louis' learnt not to question things ever since that damn gown incident. He made sure to tell Harry that it was an absolute coincidence that they met again like that, to which they both just laughed. He still has to present it to Zayn's class though, which makes Louis physically shiver from head to toe.

Louis decides to focus on Harry's vast variations of cupcakes instead, deeming the street empty enough to go over to him from their little corner where he and Niall stand.

Zayn eyes him as he makes his way over to the ridiculous curly boy with a weird expression that Louis can't quite place. Louis shrugs it off. He's just being friendly is all. Nothing wrong with that right? Besides, Niall has gone back to playing something on his phone so clearly he's not entertainment worthy at the moment.

“Hi,” Louis greets as he leans against the stand displaying the baked goods. Harry's head snaps up from some notes he's arranging, seemingly surprised that Louis had come over. Harry's springy bits start flowing a little in the wind and his hair is mostly wrapped up in another headscarf. This time it has patterns on it; some sort of skulls? Louis might temporarily forget how to breathe.

“Hi Lou,” Harry responds with an easy smile, Louis immediately realizing he's returning it. “What brings you to my little corner of the world?”

_My soul_. Louis thinks but swallows it down with a casual shrug. “I suppose I just wanted to know how many cupcakes you bought. I'm in desperate need of entertainment.”

Harry contemplates for a second before he begins, “Well, considering I baked them all; about three dozen? A little bit more?”

“Bullshit, no you didn't.”

“Yeah, I did! I used to work in a bakery and I suppose I still do?”

“You used to be a baker? Harold, don't test me!”

“I'm serious!” Harry's grinning now, dimples out and Louis feels like he might faint. Is there anything in his fantasies that Harry _can't_ do? He bakes. The bloody bastard can bake.

“So, you bake?”

“I thought it was obvious by now?” Harry gestures around the big, pink and glittery stand and at the army of cupcakes displayed. Is that a tiny banana on top of one?

“Well then; impress me, Styles,” Louis says and crosses his arms over his chest while quirking a curious eyebrow. “What kind of cupcakes do you specialize in?”

Harry at that brightens impossibly, his features turning animated with excitement. He could be the sun and Louis would still look at him all day not caring if he was burning. “Mostly banana, red velvet, strawberry, blueberry and raspberry. And also some healthy ones like zucchini and carrots. Also, I might've coloured them for the colours of the rainbow so it's harder to figure out which ones which... so it's a fun surprise, I guess. And a bit of LGBTQ awareness with the rainbow colours.”

Louis' heart is threatening to melt at how absolutely wonderful Harry is. And the way he talked about his cupcakes like they were so precious that he also wanted to send out a supportive message with them. What even is Harry Styles? He pushes down the fluttering of his nerves and tells himself the affection he's feeling is merely platonic. It has to be.

“So what flavour are the ones with the sparkly pink glitter on them?”

Harry blushes at them with a fond smile as he picks one up for Louis to take. “They're my specialty, my babies. They each have my secret ingredient in them, and no I'm not going to tell you what that is because then it wouldn't be a secret, Lou.” Harry laughs as Louis makes a pouty face.

“Fine,” Louis huffs and takes a bite, a bit of glitter sticking to the top of his lip. His eyes widen when the delicious flavour hits him and he can't help but take another eager bite. “Oh my God, H these are amazing,” he says, mouth still full.

“Thanks, I know they're not the best but—“

“No Harry, seriously, these are the best damn cupcakes I've ever had. Don't put yourself down,” Louis cuts Harry off, determined to get Harry not to belittle himself. Harry gives him a sheepish but grateful smile.

“Have you guessed what flavour it is yet?” Harry asks with anticipation.

“We’re playing cupcake bingo now are we?” Louis feels around in his mouth. He doesn't know if the tangy but creamy flavour is the special ingredient or if the little dash of berries are. He takes another bite and tastes a blueberry. Bingo. “Is it blueberries with a hint of orange?”

“I do recall making one like that, so yes!” Harry's face splits into a grin and Louis pumps a lazy fist in the air victoriously while never taking his eyes off of Harry's green ones.

“Where have you been all my life?” Louis blurts out and fuck. He _really_ really didn't intend to; he was just thinking out loud. _Stupid_. And why is he thinking of things like this? Did he just fuck up? Shit shit shit. His mind is screaming _get out get out_ while his heart starts pounding more and more fast.

“In Holmes Chapel,” Harry says, his smile widening impossibly further as Louis cocks his head with a weird expression. Is Harry serious now or just making fun of him? Can someone shoot Louis. Now.

“Sorry?”

“That's where I'm from. Also, you're terribly cute when you're confused,” Harry supplies while going in to poke one of Louis' ribs, making him squirm and giggle. Louis lets out an indignant noise, batting away Harry's hands while he tries to tickle Louis.

“I'll have you know, Curly, I will not be treated like this and will especially not tolerate you calling me cute.” Louis darts out his tongue playfully and he can already feel himself unwinding and the tension seeping out of the air where he'd felt it earlier. His shoulders relax but he didn't even notice them being tense.  

“Sure thing, Twinkle Toes.” Harry smiles, his tone light and soothing. Suddenly a paper plane comes soaring out of nowhere and finds its way into Harry's curls. Louis bursts into giggles at the bewildered face Harry makes.

Harry plucks it out of his hair and Louis can see it's one of the flyers he and Niall have to hand out. They both turn towards the source, Niall feigning innocence while whistling but unable to contain it he starts cackling like an idiot at Harry's stunned expression. “Niall, that's not what these are for!”

Harry's starting to pout again and Louis wants to kiss it off his lips. Louis feels a surge of protection blooming in his chest and he quickly folds a paper before he throws it towards the younger boy. Niall looks baffled for a minute but then collects himself and smirks at Louis before yelling; “Bring it on, Tommo!”

“You're going down, Nialler!” Louis cries out and turns toward Harry, “Harold, help me!”

Harry starts folding the flyers for Louis determinedly without another word and they take cover behind the cupcake stand as Niall starts pelting them with the ones he’s already made. Zayn steps between them, trying to get control of the situation, only to get hit by the flying objects numerous times.

“Oh that's it, Lou! You're so getting it!” Zayn shouts at Louis and Harry actually throws a cupcake in return, the purple frosting leaving a mark on the sign that's (unfortunately) still mounted on Zayn. He looks down at the remains of the cupcake incredulously and then back at Harry. “What the fuck was that, Harry?”

Louis and Harry laugh furiously and both take a cupcake (not the glittery ones; those are precious) and proceed to throw them with battle cries.

“Never mind them, Zayn, save me!” Niall hides behind Zayn, making the older boy take most of the hits to the head. Zayn gives Harry and Louis an annoyed look. One cupcake hits him square in the face.

“Niall, take my shield. I'm going in,” Zayn says as he hands Niall his sign over. Louis won't run away but he knows he's about to get payback. He still doesn't stop teasing Zayn and throws another one now at the back of his head.

“No, you'll die!” Niall protests latching onto Zayn's arm. Now it's Harry's cupcake that makes contact with him.

“My hair's already ruined. There's nothing they can do to hurt me anymore.”

“You'll never take down the Dream Team, Malik!” Louis calls from their hiding place, receiving a questioning look from Harry.

“Dream Team?” Harry grins at him with amusement. He throws another cupcake, this time hitting Niall.

“Just go with it, Harold. It's much cooler if we have a name. As in best team ever and they just _wish_ they could be as awesome as us.” Louis doesn't even know where this is all coming from. He's known Harry for a week and surely that's not merely enough time for him to feel this attached to him. Or is it?

He's too distracted to notice Zayn sneaking up on him to smoosh a cupcake in his face before it's too late. “How do you like them now, Lou?” Zayn smirks above him.

“I think I missed a spot Zaynie―” Louis picks up two and rubs them gently on Zayn's clothes and then wipes his hands in the smeared black shirt when he's finished and looks at Zayn mock-apologetically, “oops?”

Zayn glares at him. Zayn's about to say something when they hear Harry's panicked shout as something tips over. Louis turns around to see Niall and Harry wrestling over one of the glittery cupcakes while the others lie squished on the floor.

“No Niall, no!”

“But it's the last one!”

“You've had plenty already and it's your fault that the rest didn't make it!”

“You're the one who pushed me so I'd fall back on them!”

“You surprised me in a moment of weakness!”

“What was that? Checking out Lou's arse?”

Harry opens and closes his mouth seemingly thinking better of what he was going to say next. Niall gives him a victorious smile and receives the last cupcake. Louis tries not to blush, so instead he settles for a smirk.

“I don't blame you love, my arse is amazing,” Louis says, Zayn pretend gagging behind him. He hits Zayn's arm then realizes it's still covered with icing so he wipes it back on the younger boy's shirt. Zayn rolls his eyes, not bothering to step away anymore and lets out a tired sigh.

Harry grins, “I'd have to agree with you on that.”

“Louis, I'm _eating_ , go away with your flirting!” Niall yells at them disgruntled. He doesn't seem that bothered though as he proceeds to munch on the cake. Harry huffs out sulkily and starts accusing Niall about being food obsessive which results in a lot of ridiculous exchanges that Louis and Zayn just snigger at.

A few weeks, Louis thinks. He's going in a few weeks with these dorks to discover another continent and he couldn't be happier. He knows he'll feel bad about flirting with Harry later but right now nothing can take away the buzz of excitement from him. It feels like the darkness might be able to leave him. He doesn't know how long it'll stay gone before it comes back though.

*

He's actually getting on a plane. Louis' actually doing this. He can't believe how fast the past few weeks have gone by and now here he is; at the airport in the waiting lounge. A few hours ago he had just been _packing_ , thinking of this as a distant dream that might never come to pass, but alas, it did. And he's been anxiously sitting in his room for days, overwhelmed with excitement and fear. He couldn't really make up his mind what it actually was in the end.

It's not like he hasn't been doing anything though, next to the fund-raising stuff, he's been helping Zayn with the final touches on his project and then actually went through with presenting it to the class (now he can honestly say that _that_ was the most embarrassing thing he had to do so far and Louis will never do something like that ever again).Still, they won. Or at least Zayn got the highest grading. Victory, he supposes.

And he's been hanging out with Harry a lot lately. It's not like he meant to, he just always somehow ended up at the shop when Harry was currently on his shift and they got to talking about anything, everything or just nothing in particular. Harry even told him about his earlier trips with the other photography students. It had been just so easy to talk to Harry, and Louis has been returning back there ever since. Okay, so perhaps it was deliberately an accident that he visited Harry after classes.

Although sometimes Harry does tend to ask too personal questions, about his family or what he wants to do with his life, which make Louis cringe and want to hide under a rock mostly. So he tends to make up an excuse to get away earlier than planned to dodge those. Louis sometimes feels like opening up to Harry, he really does because it's unfair to him; he's been so sweet. But he just _can't_.

And Louis' also been fighting down the urges to ravish Harry. It's been really hard (no pun intended) and the more time he spends with Harry the more he has to watch out not to fall for him. But he knows he can't avoid that from happening forever.

Now though, he's fine with just sipping on his coffee quietly because it's really fucking early still and all the boys have buggered off to the shops somewhere which are open for some reason. So he's left here to sit by himself with the other art and photography students, occasionally with people from his class wandering about here and there. They probably came for the same credits as he did. He needs the energy for this almost fifteen hour flight to Peru, but if he somehow manages to sit next to someone who's irritating, well, it's going to be a hell of a ride.

“Mind if I sit?” Well, that's that for relaxing. He's suddenly disturbed by someone sitting down next to him and it's none other than Liam Payne. _Great_.

“What can I do for you, Liam?” Louis bites as a weak greeting and tries not to smile at him murderously. It ends up bitter anyway― not that Liam notices.

“Hi Louis, I'm surprised to see you here, you haven't really been out that much. Especially on these things,” Liam remarks, like Louis hasn't heard that before, _shocker_. Everyone is so intent on stating the obvious.

“Need to write an assignment, Payne,” Louis declares and sips on his coffee indifferently.

“Right, me too. Came up with no ideas though, so Perrie told me about this. We're both here, but I don't know how we'll combine our work?” Liam goes on as he gestures around the airport. Can someone save him already, he really doesn't feel like talking at the moment, and definitely not with Liam. It's not that Louis doesn't _like_ Liam per say, it's more like he just chooses to avoid him. He's a nice bloke and all but he can be _exhausting_ and really _really_ oblivious sometimes. Like now.

“Same with Eleanor,” Louis states but quickly adds, “but she couldn't make it, so it's just me,” before Liam turns around in search for her.

“Oh, that's a shame, I guess,” Liam says, probably mostly to himself and pats Louis' shoulder, almost knocking the hot beverage out of his grasp with the force of it.

“Yeah,” Louis says in lieu of a better answer. Liam already confirmed every obvious thing for himself so Louis doesn't really bother to elaborate. The conversation doesn't really go further than that but Liam still stays next to Louis in silence, checking something on his phone. Louis can't help feeling awkward though. Thankfully he's saved by Niall storming up to him like a maniac.

“Lou, Lou, Lou, look at 'em! Candy necklaces! Legends, is what they are,” Niall exclaims happily while holding out said items in front of Louis.

Louis flinches a bit and shoves Niall's hand away gently from his face and gestures toward Liam. “That's great, babe. Why don't you stick this in Liam's face instead?”

“Nope, I'm good.” Liam rejects Niall as well, which makes the younger boy pout and turn his back on them, feigning being upset. It only ends up making Louis and Liam chuckle behind him.

“None of ya know what's good, none of ya, I tell you.” Niall darts out his tongue and stomps to the other students showing off his newest discovery.

“I had to actually restrain him from licking the big lollipops in the shop.” Louis' met with a familiar raspy voice above him and is soon accompanied by Harry sitting down next to him, fondly shaking his head at the lilac haired boy.

“And where the bloody hell have you been, Harold? I had to go through _that_! Alone. Me, by myself. Don't ever do that again,” Louis bellows and pokes Harry's side, eliciting a giggle from the younger man.

“You're telling me? I was there, you idiot.” Harry grins and bumps his shoulder against Louis' playfully and he can't help but smile back at him.

“Promise me you won't leave me again,” Louis jokes and slaps a hand to Harry's chest for good measure. He stops laughing when he sees how Harry is gazing back at him.

“Alright, promise,” Harry says, now seriously for a moment, green eyes borings deeply into Louis' as if to tell him he really means it. Louis doesn't really know what to make of it. The moment is shattered in a second anyway by Liam greeting Harry and asking him how he's doing. Louis rolls his eyes but Harry's nice enough to exchange small talk with Liam before he turns back to Louis.

“If it's any consolation I did buy you a sandwich,” Harry announces as he pulls said food out of his jacket.

It takes a second for Louis to actually collect himself but he smiles widely and then grabs the sandwich out of the younger student's grasp. “Harold, I think you just became my favorite person.”

Harry's grin grows impossibly wider at that, almost painfully, both dimples appearing, gosh, Louis can't help his heart from racing just a bit faster. “Wow Louis Tomlinson, I shall cherish that forever.”

“You better, I don't hand those titles out for free,” Louis retorts as he munches on his grub thoroughly. A comfortable silence settles between them as Harry watches Louis finish, unlike with Liam, who is still there and buried in his screen. Harry casually makes remarks about how messily Louis eats, which no, Louis will not tolerate, he says as much to Harry himself.

“I'm just saying! Don't worry you're still cute,” Harry explains and then holds his hands up in defense because Louis starts glaring at him.

“Cute, huh? You can get away with it this time because you brought me a sandwich, Curly. But this is the _second_ time and just so you know I should think I'm more like stunningly handsome than _cute_.” Louis huffs and crosses his arms with Harry throwing his head back in laughter, Liam finally showing signs of life and snorting.

“You are, though,” Liam interjects and Louis gives him a glare as well which makes him instantly shut up about what he was going to voice next.

“Louuuu!” Harry just throws his arms around Louis' neck to console him and stays like that for what feels like forever. Somehow Louis manages to relax against Harry's embrace and they manage to stay intertwined like that until they have to get up and gather their things for boarding.

Niall rushes back to them a bit panicked like he just lost his baby kitten or saw someone throw a baby. “Guys, I can't find Zayn.” Oh, that explains it.

“I'll get him, just alert the prof that we're gone,” Louis proclaims but is stopped by Harry, who grabs his hand to stop him with concern in his eyes.

“Sure you don't want me to come with?”

“I'll be fine, Haz, don't worry,” Louis assures him and quirks his lips up into a half smile, twisting away out of Harry's reach to head back to the lounge. He misses the way Harry frowns and keeps looking back in Louis' direction by the time he's already long gone.

After numerous minutes of searching for that damn _cat_ , that's what Zayn is and no one will tell him otherwise. Going shop to shop and to that blasted candy shop, Louis even goes out to the terrace to the smoking area. It's like he evaporated. There's really only one place he hasn't looked yet and the clock's ticking.

True to his luck, he finally finds Zayn cooped up in the bathroom fixing his quiff. Louis rolls his eyes and impatiently knocks on the door, alerting Zayn of his presence. “Are you quite finished?”

“Christ, Lou, you scared me.” Zayn whips around startled. Louis just gives him an incredulous look to hurry the fuck up already and waits for him to exit the loo.

“Clock's ticking, mate, we better get on that plane,” Louis informs as they both rush to the gates in a slow sprint.

“Shit, it's going now? Thought I'd have time for another smoke.”

“You're shit at estimating the time,” Louis laughs, trying not to choke on air while he's running and making Zayn chuckle half-heartedly. Five minutes to the gate closing, come on.

“Yeah, true.” Zayn breathes heavily and picks up his pace with Louis. The truth is he really is though, Zayn's always late, no matter where he goes and it's always Louis who has to remind him to go to his classes earlier or like now, to go fetch him. That's why usually it ends up with both of them being late.

Three minutes to go and they make it, yes! They're the last ones at the check in so they quickly show their passports and tickets and honest to God just _run_ out to the plane, bolt up the stairs and make it on with a loud thud. Louis pants heavily while resting his weight on his thighs, hearing Zayn's breathing behind him. He passes the tickets over and the stewardess hands them back with a smile and a _'have a nice flight'_.

They wander down the aisle to find their group and unfortunately discover that the only two seats available aren't next to each other, but next to Liam and some bloke called Josh, Louis guesses. Well, Louis is definitely _not_ going to sit next to Liam so he rushes to the other place before Zayn would have time to argue.

Zayn's eyes widen in realization too late and gapes at Louis, who's already at the other end of the corridor mouthing a 'sorry' with an apologetic grin. Louis receives an incredulous look in return and Zayn also hissing a hushed 'no' and Louis quickly returning it with a 'yes'. This exchange goes back and forth between them until the flight attendant announces they'll be taking off in a couple of minutes and all passengers should take their seats, leaving Zayn to sigh in defeat and take his place but not before glaring at Louis helplessly. Louis can't help but snort and almost break into giggles because this is just ridiculous; Zayn actually tolerates Liam. So why is he making such a big fuss?

Turns out Josh is not really interesting and isn't obliged to keep Louis company at all, and instead sleeps, eats, drinks or listens to music. So after almost three hours Louis is _bored_. And all the other boys are sat way in front of him, so he basically can't even communicate or reach them. Unfair, is what it is. He was really _really_ freaked out when they first took off, hence Louis' first time on an airplane, and did his best not to throw up. Josh even was kind enough to offer his arm as support for Louis to hold onto. He's still a little dazed but much better than he was an hour ago.

He settles on looking out the window, as much as he can from the sleeping bloke, and watches as cloud upon cloud passes him with infinite amounts of different shapes. It really is beautiful how the sunshine cascades down through the holes of white or grey fluff, even though he can't see the end of the light, he's already seen it numerous times from below to know what it looks like.

Louis let's his mind wander off into a calming lull but it goes deeper than he planned and his thoughts about what he'll do with himself, what his plans are, what he wants come rushing back to him, flooding him. No matter how hard he tries to escape it or run away from it, he'll still be a disappointment, it doesn't really matter to whom, maybe the problem really is Louis. He keeps letting everyone down, he's let Zayn and Niall down already but they're still here for some reason. He's not even sure when he's going to lose them, maybe they'll just leave him when he finishes Uni and they'll realize he's uninteresting and just a waste of time. And now he's going to let Harry down. He doesn't want that, wants anything _but_ that. And he definitely doesn't want to ruin it by falling for him or else it will just _hurt_ , it really will.

He's suddenly jolted up by a soothing hand coming to his attention and enveloping Louis' hand with his. _Harry_. “Are you okay, Lou?” He asks kneeling down next to him.

“Yup, fine. Bad dream.” Louis gulps and gives him a weak smile, only just realizing that he was sweating. His statement isn't really making the frown on Harry's face disappear though, and instead the younger man squeezes his hand tighter.

“I'm still a bit anxious about flying,” is what Louis settles for.Well, it's not a complete lie, but it's also not the real reason, so it might as well be lying.

“Here have this, my sister gave it to me when I came back from my first ever flying experience as a symbolic token,” Harry says as he removes something from his neck, offering it to Louis to accept.

“Haz, I can't take this, I—“

“I _want_ you to have it,” Harry insists and places the necklace between Louis' hand. It's a silver paper airplane necklace, he's seen it before; dangling from Harry's neck with the other ones.

He knows Harry won't take it back now that he's accepted it, but Louis can't help but feel guilty for taking it. “Thank you,” he says instead and seeing the smile break out from Harry's face is just worth everything. Louis can't help but return it fondly.

“Anyway, I didn't just come here to bring presents, I was actually wondering if you minded if I sat with you? You don't have to say yes, like, I can go away. It's just Niall's asleep _and_ snoring and I'm really bored. But—“

Louis cuts off Harry's ramblings with a hand to the younger student's mouth. “Harry, love, I would like nothing _more_ than for you to swap seats and sit next to me,” he pronounces every word clearly and quickly hits Josh on the arm to wake him up. “Joshy boy, you're swapping seats with Harold here. Don't worry; you can sleep with Niall,” Louis announces and Josh only gives him a shrug before packing his stuff up and heading off with Harry to his new place.

“Hi,” Harry returns in a couple of short moments with a big grin after he comes back and plunks down with a loud thud.

Louis rests his head on Harry's shoulder and settles against him. “Finally, someone to sleep on.” He sighs contently and laughs as soon as he hears Harry make an indignant noise above him.

“Heeey, I didn't come all this way to be ignored again,” Harry says distraught, and Louis looks up to see him pouting. That should be illegal really, all Louis wants to do is reach up and kiss that pout off his lips.

“Sorry babes, what do you wanna do?” Louis asks after he's cleared his head of those thoughts. Soon Harry's grin returns and then worries his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration of figuring out something.

“Ooh, how about 'I spy'?” Harry's eyes widen comically when the idea pops into his head and then makes this 'o' shape with his mouth waiting for Louis' input.

“Definitely not.”

“But Louuu.”

“It's a ridiculous game.”

“Is not.”

“Harold.”

“Please?”

Louis sighs in defeat and massages his temple. “Fine, one game though.”

Harry makes a delighted noise and glances around like a toddler in wonderment searching for an Easter-Egg. “Okay, I spy something with my little eye starting with... P,” Harry settles on proudly like he's won something. Sometimes Louis swears he's friends with a five year old.

“Is it _package_?” Louis guesses and rolls his eyes when Harry shakes his head with a 'no'.

“ _Parcel_?”

“Nope,” Harry reveals, popping the 'p', mockery is what it is. Louis glances around further and sees nothing that starts with a 'p' but a little girl's hair catches his attention and really, it's his last hope.

“ _Pigtails_?”

“Not even close.”

“Fine, I give up. Stupid game.” Louis throws his hands up in surrender, muttering the last bit. Harry pumps a fist in the air victoriously and breaks out a small happy sound.

“ _Pink skirt_.” Harry unveils smugly and really, _really_?

“Well how the bloody hell was I supposed to know _'pink skirt'_?” Louis cries out incredulously and slaps a hand to his forehead.

“You can't say it's cheating though, pink does start with a 'p' and you didn't even guess that!”

“Fine, you win. Can we move on now?” Louis huffs and rests his head back against Harry, the younger student complying easily, placing an arm around Louis and resting his head against Louis'.

“Music?” Harry offers half an earbud and Louis takes it gratefully and places it in his ear. Harry's hand fumbles with his phone before some hipster music starts playing but this time Louis doesn't really mind it that much. He completely relaxes against Harry and lets the vocals of the person singing lull him into sleep.

 

The flight basically passes in a blur after that, switching from Harry or Louis entertaining the other and them battling viciously in thumb wars to sleeping on each other and listening to music. At some point Niall comes over a bit confused as to why Josh was suddenly sleeping next to him and how he thought he got on the wrong flight for ten minutes straight. But really, the highlight was Zayn passing them and glaring daggers at Louis with a slight blush while heading to the bathroom.

Before Louis knows it; he's crowded into a tour bus heading to their hotel, which is another few hours away from the airport. He proceeds to sleep on Harry's shoulder as jet-lag threatens to overtake him, he's barely even conscious to comprehend what's happening around him. The ride is a bit bumpy so he startles awake for a few moments before he goes back to sleep again, Harry always there to soothe him.

They trek up the stairs of the hotel― wait, hotel already? Wow Louis really is tired― and somehow make it up to their floor. Their accompanying professor—or as they're supposed to call him— _Paul_ hands out their room keys, calling out names on the list of who'll share a room. Naturally the literature students already have to share with their partners; they still are a separate group from the others after all, but since Louis' here alone he could be paired up with anyone. He hears Zayn and Niall getting paired up in the distance, still sleep hazy. Somehow he misses his name being called and next thing he knows he's being dragged to his suite, Harry still supporting him.

“Wha—? Who am I with?” Louis mumbles half asleep and opens his eyes to catch Harry shaking his head with fondness but doesn't receive an answer.

“Go to sleep, I'm just going to get our bags,” Harry tells him eventually and Louis can't do much but nod furiously and obey. He toes off his shoes and strips off his jeans so that he's only in his boxers and the shirt he's been wearing all day.

There's only one king sized bed in the room, Louis notices, but he just shrugs and lifts up the covers of the right side of the bed and slides in with a content sigh. Paul did mention that there was a room with one bed because they couldn't get more two-bed-rooms on the same floor, and he wanted to keep everyone in one area.

Louis' already half asleep when he feels the bed sink down on the other end as a body joins him. He's too tired to fully comprehend it right now though, and thinks he hears a distantly whispered “Night, Lou” before he falls back into the abyss of sleep.

*

Louis groans into his pillow. It's not his alarm that's going off like a crazy siren. If it were he would've already thrown it at the wall or something. “Shut up!”

“Shit, sorry,” Harry mumbles croakily behind Louis and goes to shut off his phone. Louis barely has enough time to properly wake up before he jolts up into a sitting position at the sound of another voice.

“Fuck, Harry, I didn't know you were here,” Louis breathes but calms down a moment later, slumping back down a bit. He's such an idiot, Harry bringing their bags last night or _Harry's_ alarm going off should've been a telltale sign of him not being alone in the room. He didn't really notice not being the only one in the bed, too tired to realize probably. He voices these out loud to Harry.

“It's okay, Lou. You were tired.” Harry shrugs with a sleepy smile and then checks his phone, brows furrowed. “We really should be getting up though, apparently our first trip is to Machu Picchu.”

“What time is it anyway?” Louis rubs his eyes, yawning loudly. Machu Picchu already on the second day? Well they spent the first with arriving and sleeping so technically yeah, this is the second day. How is he going to take two weeks of this? Mind, good thing is, they get to go clubbing on the fourth night.

“Six o'clock in the morning,” Harry states then stands up to stretch and _oh God_ , he's not wearing anything besides his boxers. Louis can clearly see how each of his back muscles stiffen as he rolls his broad shoulders back. It's even worse when Harry turns around to greet him with a soft smile. “So, good morning, I guess.” 

It's a good thing Louis' able to control himself before he does something stupid like _drool_. Louis clears his throat and gestures towards the bathroom. “Right, yeah... I'm just gonna—“

“Go ahead,” Harry smiles understandingly and bends down to pluck some clothes out of his bag. Right, nope Louis needs to go _now_. So he closes the bathroom door on himself and if his gaze lingers on Harry's ass for a little too long when he glances back, well who can blame him. _Shit_ , he forgot to bring clothes in. Well he's still more decent than Harry was in the bed. Where he was sleeping next to him. _Fuck_.

Louis tries to suppress his forming hard-on, because Harry's _right_ outside. He can't just have a wank in the shower. Not right now anyway. So he goes to the sink to cool himself off and tries to fix his hair to look presentable, but ends up being a mess of ruffled hair and his fringe drooping in his face. He huffs, making his fringe lift away from his face for a few seconds before it sags back. For some reason he finds his toothbrush next to a pink one. Harry probably is the most attentive person ever. He quickly brushes his teeth before joining Harry in the other room. Louis sighs in relief when he finds he's already dressed.

“So, we getting breakfast then?” Louis asks as he searches through his bag for a new shirt and trousers. He chooses his favorite plain black tanktop and also his black skinny jeans. He shucks off his previous top and starts pulling up his trousers.

“Yeah, the others are already downstairs,” Harry says, his tone a little strained which makes Louis turn around in confusion, still trying to get his jeans up. Harry seems to visibly stiffen at that and his eyes dart around the room nervously.

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry, who's now looking anywhere else but Louis. What's his problem? Is it something with him? It's true that Louis hasn't been exercising ever since he stopped playing footie but he doesn't look _that_ bad. It's either he's too thin or he has a tummy and he's fat.Make up your bloody minds people.

Louis shrugs on his tanktop and finally Harry makes eye contact with him and acts like the moment earlier didn't even happen, completely ignoring Louis' questioning looks. “Shall we?” is all he says before he's stepping out the door, Louis trailing behind him after huffing out exasperatedly.

 

They join the others at breakfast downstairs, Louis catching up with Zayn over the course of their meal while Niall reminisces about the story of his flight experience. Harry's somewhere off with some other people doing who knows what. It kind of makes Louis feel left out somehow and long for the other boy. As funny as it sounds, he's grown quite used to the fact of Harry always being near him. He knows it's selfish to think like that though, so he beats down the urge to just whisk Harry away. The fact that Harry knows those people, and shares memories with them of similar trips from earlier, just upsets Louis.

Somehow he makes it through without breaking something and instead bites his inner cheek furiously only stopping after he tastes blood. Paul herds the group on the bus and gives them his speech or more like unnecessary instructions for the trip. It's the usual 'don't get lost', 'don't wander off' and 'don't go too close to the edges'. Louis can do only so much not to roll his eyes. He doesn't really pay attention after that but Harry sitting down next to him catches his attention.

Harry fiddles with his camera for a bit and then points it at Louis' face and before he can look away, the shutter goes off.

“Hey, I didn't give you permission for you to take that, Harold,” Louis squeaks indignantly as Harry laughs.

“Oops, it was an accident?” Harry grins at him innocently and throws his hands up in a general _I had nothing to do with this_ manner.

Louis smiles at him fondly but points a finger playfully. “Don't play coy with me. And what even is your assignment?”

Harry holds the camera up again. “Basically—” shutter sound goes off, “—I just have to do this.”

“Impressive skills, Styles. I'll give you that,” Louis teases and Harry bows his head bashfully.

“Anyway, all we have to do is take shots of the landscape while the art students have to compose something that inspires them, and do a painting or drawing of it,” Harry explains but adds as an afterthought. “Mind, I don't know what Niall's doing here.”

“He's Niall, he basically gets away with everything,” Louis laughs, fondly shaking his head at the thought of the ridiculous lad.

“I remember when you used to,” Harry says, his eyes searching as Louis briefly tenses up and closes his eyes as images cloud him.

“Those days are behind me now.”

“But why?”

“It's not something I like to talk about. Now, can we drop it?” Louis' snaps, his tone coming out a bit harsher than he intended so he quickly backtracks and apologizes. “I'm sorry, I—“

“No, you don't need to apologize, _I'm_ sorry for asking,” Harry cuts him off, visibly upset at Louis, and shit, it's not Louis' fault he cringes every time his past comes up. But now Harry's upset with him and he can't really do much because he's not even looking at him. So he leaves it at that because he won’t be able to say anything now without making things worse and they spend the rest of the ride in complete silence.

Louis glances out the window taking in the beautiful scenery as it passes by in lieu of anything better to do. The road they're currently going up onto the mountain is really windy and makes Louis want to throw up, but it was either this or a three day trip up the mountain on the _Inka Trail_ , which no one wanted to do. Next week they're apparently flying out to Brazil and they still have a lot on their to-do list in Peru.

When the bus makes its stop, Harry doesn't even wait for Paul to finish before he's storming off of the vehicle; away from Louis. Zayn's already waiting for him when he gets off as well, brows furrowed questioningly.

“Don't ask,” Louis says and Zayn shrugs in response, not stressing the subject. He knows when or not to ask about something. They trail behind the group, not really paying attention to the historical facts their tour guide is providing them with, but instead taking in the ruins of one of the most famous places in the world. It really is a sight, if Louis' honest. Because they're here, at Machu Picchu. He doesn't even know how they're allowed to step on the grassy fields, it just radiates a feeling of, it shouldn't be touched, should be undisturbed. But instead it's flooding with tourists.

Some parts of the ruins were rebuilt, just so they could get an idea on what it looked like before. All of it just looks so sacred and ancient, and it's really fascinating to think that actual people were living here, and built _this_. And it's bloody high as well, he can see the Huayna Picchu towering over them and it's basically the opposite mountain. The mist surrounding them is a bit scary to be honest though.

They wander around the residential area a bit and then get taken to the _Temple of the Sun_ or _Torreon_ , Louis hears distantly, and then see the _Inti Watana stone_. Apparently it's one of many ritual stones in South America and these stones are arranged to point directly at the sun during the winter solstice and were used as a calendar or a clock. Louis notices that some literature students, including Liam are furiously trying to write this all down and Louis can't help but roll his eyes at them. They could always look it up online if they forgot something. In the meantime Niall has found an alpaca and decided to call him _Jerry_ and now he's taking selfies with him. Typical. He's reluctant to let anyone pet him (even though Jerry's not actually his) claiming they'll only scare him and start a spit fest. Which basically just means 'MINE GET AWAY'. Leave it to Niall to befriend an alpaca or just any random person because that’s how much of a wonderful idiot he is. Louis really envies his trust sometimes.

After their tour finishes Paul tells Niall and to quote: _leave that poor alpaca alone already_ and the photography students get a free hour to take photographs while the art students can work in their sketchpads. Meanwhile, Louis' left alone, walking around bored, but refuses to hang out with the other literature students, who are still asking questions from their tour guide.

He finds a ledge to sit down on, somewhere higher to look down and see everyone. Jerry's behind him casually eating away at the grass so at least he has _some_ company. He catches Zayn and Niall drawing, or more like Zayn _actually_ drawing and Niall just doodling. He notices Liam laughing about something with someone. He sees everyone but—

“Hey,” Harry says from above Louis, completely startling him. “Can I sit down?”

“Sure,” Louis pats the grass next to him, inviting the younger student to slowly sink down next to him, camera hanging loosely around his neck.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Harry says and snaps a quick picture. Small talk. Louis can do small talk as long as Harry isn’t mad at him. Hell, Louis can do anything as long as it involves Harry.

“Yeah…” Louis sighs, he’s still asking how he even got here, “I never really imagined I’d one day see it in person though.”

“It truly is fascinating. Imagine how long it took for them to build this,” Harry says while gazing around like a child in wonderment.

“I know, I can’t even build a proper birdhouse, let alone an actual city on a mountain,” Louis quips and Harry startles into his honest laugh that Louis brings out of him and makes his heart swell with affection. After Harry’s laughter dies down the air gets too awkward between them and Louis has to pretend cough just to ease some tension. He’s on the verge of opening his mouth in a haste to apologize when Harry beats him to it.

“Listen, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier. I understand that you don't want to talk about it, and hopefully someday you'll tell me why,” Harry goes on after a moment of pause. “It's just, it felt a bit unfair with you not opening up to me and shutting me out; when I've been honest with you. I'm not forcing you to tell me though, I would never. It just hurt at the time, you know?” Harry breathes, sincerity etched in his eyes with his humble apology. Louis' heart warms for this terribly wonderful boy and he doesn’t think he can hold back anymore and lunges forward to embrace him a hug, Harry not hesitating to immediately grasp back tightly.

“I'm sorry too,” Louis says pulling back, “I don't think I'll ever be really ready to tell someone, not even myself. But maybe.” That little string of hope is enough to brighten Harry's face as he smiles back at him. Maybe it's enough to give Louis hope. _Maybe_.

“Do you think Niall's actually drawing, though?” Harry comments after a while, looking in the boy's direction. Louis throws his head back in a startled giggle and leans down on the cushion of grass. Harry shakes his head fondly and Jerry suddenly makes a humming noise as if to agree with them on it.

“Absolutely not.”

*

It's only their fourth day, _fourth_! And they're completely, absolutely _lost_. It's all thanks to Liam and his skills in reading a map.

The third day wasn't so bad, they went canoeing on the river and the only issue they had was Zayn not wanting to get in the boat, because he can't swim, and Niall continuously tipping over with some of the others he was in the small boat with. Luckily, Louis wasn't one of them. But other than that, everyone including Louis had a wonderful time; laughing around with Harry and teasing Zayn was one of his main highlights. But again, the scenery is what takes the cake, and Louis was even fascinated by a lot of pictures Harry took.

So on the fourth day Paul decides to put them in groups of five and make them go on a little scavenger hunt, since it's their last official day in Peru and tomorrow they'll be flying out to Brazil, or some of them home. Their task: to find the waterfall hidden on the map, each group using their own tourist paths selected on their map. If they were to get lost they can use their GPS's to find their way back.

At least they get to go clubbing tonight, and Louis' been quite looking forward to it for some reason he really doesn't know. He hasn't been in a club since second year, but somehow this trip has been a positive influence on him and he thinks he might be able to get past his problems. He's really hanging on a thread now, it's either redemption or destruction.

But maybe it's Harry who's been the positive thing in Louis' life that's been missing. He's the one anchoring him down as the waves try to take him under. Maybe that's all just in Louis' head and it's silly, but this is how he feels ever since they had their argument. They've somehow gotten even closer and Louis' not that scared anymore about letting Harry in. He's only known Harry a little over a month but he still feels closer to him than anyone ever before. He'll either break him or save him.

When Paul lists the names, he gets paired up with Niall, Zayn, Liam and Harry. And oh, how he wishes they could take back letting Liam be in charge of the map handling, because now they're lost. And apparently their GPS isn't much help either. And Niall is strangely chill about everything and keeps photobombing them claiming: _these will be the best memories_ or something.

“Well now you've done it, we're fucking lost!” Louis sighs agitatedly at Liam, who continues to hit the buttons repeatedly.

“S'not my fault, the damn buttons aren't working!” Liam protests, pouting at the wretched device. Louis takes the GPS away and throws it angrily on the ground.

“ _You_ got us into this mess in the first place!” Louis bellows, not really caring about alerting probable predators in the jungle.

“Why did we go off the tourist path anyway?” Harry asks, his tone calmer than Louis'. Leave it to Harry to be the nice one in a situation like this.

“I thought we could take a shortcut and get there first.” Liam lowers his head and sits down on a boulder, head between his hands.

“A short—” Louis growls incredulously but gets cut off by Zayn placing a hand on him and shaking his head.

“Give me the map,” Zayn offers and Liam hands it over gladly, still hanging his head. Louis walks over to Zayn, resting his chin on his shoulder as both of them look over the map together. “Okay, so we were supposed to head on this road, but turned off at this side one and—“

Harry suddenly stops his pacing and glances around for the lilac haired boy in confusion. “Wait, where's Niall?” Zayn and Louis both lift their heads up in frantic speed.

“Did we lose him?”

“No, how can you lose someone?”

“Then where could he have gone?”

“What's that noi—” Liam lifts his head up suddenly, interrupting the exchange between the three of them but Louis hushes him.

“Not now, Liam. Niall's missing.”

“Yeah, I know, but doesn't that sound like—”

“Yes, I'm quite aware what a waterfall sounds like,” Louis retorts and then suddenly freezes as realization hits him. All four of them turn in the direction of where the sound of rippling water is coming from and break into a hectic sprint.

They're greeted by the presence of the waterfall they were supposed to find and also Paul and their tour guide coming over to congratulate them on being the first to arrive. Still no sign of Niall though, and all four of them are still worried about what could've happened to him. They don't even know what to tell Paul, let alone Niall's parents if something _did_ happen.

Suddenly there’s a sound of some branches breaking and a shout of “Minions!” behind them and they spin around to see Niall swinging from a vine into the lake at the waterfall.

“Niall!” All four of them cry out in unison when the boy surfaces. Louis doesn't even hesitate before he's grabbing ahold of another vine and jumping in to join Niall. The water is mostly green and disgusting but he doesn't care about that when he's currently pissed at the younger boy.

“Hey Louis,” Niall greets him with a grin when Louis emerges.Louis can't help the urge to splash water in his face.

“You tosser, you could've told us where you were going,” Louis splashes him again for good measure before continuing, “we were worried sick.”

Niall sputters out the water and scrunches up his nose in disgust at the taste before he talks. “I needed to pee. 'M not gunna disclose my personal business, especially since we were lost and had other problems to deal with. Then I heard the waterfall and saw you lads here.”

“You're still a wanker,” Louis says shaking his head, a fond smile playing at his lips. They're ushered out of the water by Paul who's complaining about them might catching a cold and how he will never live it down. The other groups make it to the waterfall one by one eventually as well. Niall's taken the liberty of stripping his clothes off, except his boxers, but Louis' currently lying in the sun, waiting for his own to dry, eyes closed, enjoying the soothing warmth. He hears a camera shutter go off and a knowing smile erupts from his face.

“What are you doing?” Louis props up on his elbows to see Harry taking another picture of him. He doesn't understand why though, not like there's anything interesting to see. Louis' not even looking half decent at the moment; still soaking wet.

“Photographing something beautiful,” Harry responds shamelessly, then fiddles with his camera and takes a seat next to Louis.

Louis' cheeks flush a bitbut Harry's too busy to catch it, so he quickly brushes is off with changing the topic. “Why photography, Harold?”

Harry furrows his brow at that, thinking of a response to come up with. “I don't know, I guess I always admired capturing glimpses of beauty. And catching moments, memories. I think that beauty is the color of happiness, happiness is the emotion of love, and love is never letting go of that admiration you hold towards something beautiful. It’s a full cycle if you think about it this way, I guess. I believe that love is eternal, if you let it be. There are infinite ways of receiving that love, but there will always be only one person you can share that exact love with,” Harry states tentatively, his expression and the passionate way he talks about the subject is full of intensity and emotion. And that just does it. It snaps something deep inside Louis, making his heart spread with affection because he's _so_ in love with this boy. Terribly and stupidly so. “And that's how I feel about photography, I guess.”

“It all comes down to love,” Louis hums, Harry shrugging in return. And that's just it isn't it, the concept of love isn't so scary if you think of it like that, but from Louis' perspective it's terrifying. He's never received love in such a pure way as Harry described it. He loves Zayn and Niall to death yeah, but it's not the same. He can't even recall it from his family. Of course, never _really_ could anyway...

Louis' just so _stupid_ , is the thing. He's fallen for him. He really tried not to. But the way Harry looks at him sometimes just ignites something new inside him and he doesn’t have the energy to fight it anymore. It feels similar to the adoration he used to get back when he was the Louis without a care in the world with the burden of also still being _so_ damaged inside. But this feeling doesn’t compare to that _at all_. Then again, it could just be Harry's natural charm to make everyone feel important, and all Louis probably is to him is a really close friend. But this feeling is so different from what he used to get back then, and it's just easier for Louis to finally admit that he has so madly fallen in love with this boy― the boy who bumped into him and knocked him over on the first day they met― than denying it any longer. He'll just have to live with keeping it a secret, otherwise he'll ruin everything he's had with Harry in a pitiful mess.

“Do you believe in that?” Harry inquires and Louis' completely caught off guard because he's suddenly lost about what Harry is talking about. Did he somehow voice those thoughts aloud?

“What?” Louis asks dumbly because that's all he can do. Unfortunately before he receives any kind of answer Niall plops down between them― and is that a banana?

“D'you think those two will ever get together?” Niall gestures toward Zayn and Liam, who are currently engaged in a deep conversation, and excuse Louis but _what_? “Oh, and I got this for you, Harry,” Niall continues as he holds out the banana, making Harry's eyes positively _sparkle_ and he accepts it eagerly.

“What?”

“Well, I thought Harry would like a ba—” Niall startles a bit at Louis' harsh outburst, and Louis can't blame him really, but how come he didn't notice Zayn and Liam?

“No, no the first one. You said there's something between Zayn and Liam?” Louis stops Niall mid-sentence, Harry listening intently with big, curious eyes while eating the banana like an adorable toddler.

“Oh yeah, it's pretty obvious Zayn's head over heels for him and Liam's the same. 'Been tryin'a get those two together for a month now. Same with y— never mind,” Niall admits finally, looking at said 'couple' fondly. Louis' upset now. How come he never noticed? Zayn's his best friend.They live together. Maybe it's really Louis who's the oblivious idiot and not Liam, although considering Liam hasn't exactly made a move yet, that subject is still debatable.

“Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't _you_ tell me?” Louis' glaring at Niall now, why is he the last one to know?

“I only noticed a month ago when I saw Liam pining after Zayn in the shop one day, and then saw Zayn doing the same creepy love-sick puppy look as well,” Niall holds up his hands in a surrender type fashion. So it was Liam who wasn't there when they were supposed to go out to supper together and Zayn got all irritated? The gears in Louis' head are working furiously, fitting the puzzle pieces together and suddenly all of it makes sense. “Trust me, I would've told ya sooner, but you were kinda busy with Harry all the time.”

“Yeah...” Louis lowers his head, he really hasn't been a good friend. Always disappointing everyone... But no, he can fix it, now he can. “I know what! Zayn's my best mate, and I know I've been a shitty one. So we're going to help him. You're not in this alone, Niall, right Harry?” Louis glances over to Harry, who's nodding furiously with a proud smile. “We're going to get Zayn at least a shag out of all this.”

 

Few hours later _Team Let's Get Zayn and Liam together_ is a no go and Louis' a _bit tipsy_. Their mission failed half an hour ago when things went downhill pretty fast with all three of them urging the two to dance together, resulting in both of them turning crimson and basically storming off in the opposite direction. Progress, eh? Then they went to mourn with a few sorrowful drinks, promising to get back to it another day, determined not to give up.

Now he's dancing and not letting anyone grind up against him. They can look, but they can't touch. He feels the music pumping through his veins with every beat, even though it's crap, he can still move to the rhythm. He's sweating now, alcohol consuming him and just letting everything go because everything's so _good_ right now.

Suddenly a hand snakes its way up his sides, pulling Louis close against the person's chest. He's just about to recoil, when he feels a familiar voice whispering hotly against his ear. “You look so good, Louis.”

Louis breathes out a desperate and somewhat needy moan, feeling Harry's semi against his ass. It's not enough, he needs _more_. So he grinds down against Harry, eliciting a deep groan from the younger man. And what is Louis _doing_? This is not how you keep your burning desires for your best friend a secret. Then again Harry's not really objecting either so.

Both of them are panting, Harry breathing hotly against his neck before leaving open mouthed kisses on it. The place where his lips meet Louis' skin still linger on him after moving down lower and lower, down his collarbones, getting closer to his chest. Louis doesn't think he's ever been so affected or hard before in his life, all he can think about it bending Harry over the bar for everyone to witness and pound into him furiously. Or the other way around, Louis doesn't care, he just needs both of them naked _now_. It's been too long since he's had a shag, and hell Louis' not going to oppose it now if Harry's up for it.

“Need. You naked. Taxi. Now.” Louis finally grits out between moaning and panting with Harry nibbling on his jaw. He continues to grind down on Harry in little rocking motions, the other boy completely hard now as well.

“Fuck. Lou, yes, please...” Harry pleads as he palms Louis through his now very uncomfortable jeans. Christ, they're not even _kissing_ yet! But Louis' just _so_ so affected and he can see how much Harry is too and it's exhilarating to think that it's _him_ making Harry full of need and want.

They somehow manage to call a cab, Harry wasting no time to latch onto Louis' neck when they get in, sucking a mark on his exposed skin, while gripping Louis' thigh tightly and palming him steadily. And it's all Louis can do not to cry out sharply and come right on the spot, because he still has some dignity not to come in public.

“Want you, so bad, Lou,” Harry mumbles into Louis' neck, Louis trying to muffle the sound he's making by biting down on his lip, hard. He pulls on Harry's hair, which somehow makes Harry even _more_ turned on as he elicits an even louder groan.

When they finally make it to their hotel room in a frantic pace, Louis halts at the door, crowding Harry against it. Seriously, how fast was that? Louis just lost track of time, he's so fucking horny.

“Fuck, Louis. Please, I just―” Harry mutters against Louis' neck desperately, trying to get more friction by rubbing their clothed cocks together, then goes to nibble on Louis' earlobe. He still feels the alcohol tinged in Harry's breath, even though they've sobered up a bit. Now they're both in a lustful haze.

“What do you want, babe?” Louis pulls away, looking deep into Harry' green eyes, desire etched in them. He's so beautiful and flustered, and it's all for Louis.

“Want you. Inside me,” Harry pants into Louis ear teasingly, biting it for effect.

“Okay, yeah, anything,” Louis agrees and connects their lips in a hungry and heated kiss, Harry not wasting time in letting Louis deepen it. And everything's just clicks and it’ so hot and wonderful. Louis' never felt like this in years, probably ever. Harry's lips taste like alcohol and something fruity and Louis' absolutely overwhelmed. Harry's desperately gripping his shoulders, not detaching their lips once while they make their way to the bed, Louis kicking the door in behind him and reaching to lock it, just in case.

They stumble onto the bed in a messy heap, Louis grinding their still clothed dicks together, eliciting an efficient groan from Harry. “Fuck, Louis, wanted this, for so long.”

“The feeling's mutual, love,” Louis says, now biting on Harry's collarbone, tugging at his still ever present shirt. Why are there still clothes, this is an issue they need to fix immediately. “Clothes, off.”

Harry is quick to obey Louis' orders and wriggles out of his t-shirt as best as he can with Louis still on him, and proceeds to pull Louis' off as well. And wow, Louis' seen Harry's chest before, he got a boner from it yeah, but this is much more different, more intimate because now he's allowed to touch. So Louis doesn't hesitate to run his palms along Harry's tattoos, then abs and nipples.

“Four?” Louis tilts his head curiously, Harry shrugging in response. Louis gives him a mischievous grin before attaching his lips to them, giving each of them equal attention, the younger man squirming above him.

He nuzzles down lower to where Harry's bulge is tenting, urging Harry to rid himself of his jeans as he stands up to strip his remaining clothes as well. Louis takes a deep breath before pulling off his boxers. It's really happening isn't it, he's really going to shag Harry. Everything feels so good and absolutely _mind-blowing_ , but then why is every inch of him screaming _no_ at him? Is this really what he wants?

Fuck it. Louis' going to shag Harry and that's his decision. He can regret it later…

His breathing gets uneven when he sees Harry spread out naked, completely unabashed. Harry's dick starts bobbing against his belly when he nestles a bit on the bed making Louis’s mouth start watering and he doesn’t even care if he’s being obvious. He has no control over it.

“You're so beautiful, Lou, fuck,” Harry says, his tone sincere and eyes full of lust and admiration. Louis tries even harder not to flush at that.

“Condoms?” Louis asks instead, trying not to get too distracted by Harry's body. His mind's coming up with images of Harry getting completely wrecked under him and coming while shouting his name. He needs to focus or he'll most like just come from the _idea_ of Harry getting wrecked by him.

“In the bag,” Harry says, gesturing towards it and Louis can feel Harry's eyes glued to his ass when his back is turned.

“Came prepared, I see. Wishful thinking?” Louis fishes for the items in Harry's traveling bag and pulls out a small bottle of lube and a packet of condoms.

“Hopeful, I guess.” Harry blushes sheepishly from the bed before smirking at Louis deliberately swaying his hips on the way over then sitting on the bed between his thighs. Louis props up Harry's knees and elevates his bum by putting a pillow under him for a better angle. He takes in the sight of Harry's leaking cock from a closer proximity before he gently kisses down on the head, teasingly licking the slit and eliciting a moan from the younger man.

“Lou, please—” Harry trails off, hands fisted in the sheets, looking at Louis pleadingly (and desperately).

Louis uncaps the bottle and coats his fingers before he places one at Harry's opening. “You sure?” Louis asks Harry for reassurance, because it's now or never. He just wants to make sure Harry isn't going to regret it, God knows if Louis will.

Harry nods furiously in response and right, yeah, this is happening. He circles a finger around Harry's hole, and takes the head of Harry's cock in his mouth as he pushes the first finger inside, Harry arching his back with a loud moan and fisting Louis' hair simultaneously. Louis honestly doesn't think he's seen anything hotter. Louis works his way up and down Harry's length while adding another finger, trying to stretch Harry as best as he can.

Harry's just muttering incoherent things above him along the lines of 'Lou, please, fuck me already' or 'So good'. Louis detaches himself from Harry's dick, giving a quick kiss to the tip before adding a third finger, curling them and stretching them inside, rubbing against his prostate every once in a while.

When Louis deems Harry open enough for him, he tries to rip the condom open with slippery hands, so Harry takes it from him and rolls it onto Louis' neglected cock, which at the contact feels like it might burst. Harry gives Louis a quick reassuring kiss before he leans back down, waiting for Louis.

There's a moment before Louis pushes in when it's just him and Harry in the world and nothing else matters. Harry's looking at him with wide, lustful and trusting eyes and it makes Louis think for a moment that this is real and no one can take it away from him. He's jumping over all the obstacles he's built up for the past year; taking no caution whatsoever. Just for this one stupidly endearing boy he's fallen for. The butterflies roaming in his stomach seize to a halt. It feels more intimate than it actually is. He wonders if it's the same for Harry.

Louis still can't quite grasp it that he's actually going fuck Harry, his mind's still a jumbled mess. He still knows how to function apparently, because currently Harry's here, so open for him and he's able to align himself with his hole before he's slowly pushing in. He captures Harry's lips in a deep kiss, both of them just breathing each other in as Louis thrusts all the way inside. _Fuck_ , Harry's so tight.

After for what feels like an eternity Harry wriggles above him, urging Louis to move. Louis pulls almost all the way out and then pushes in again, eliciting a gasp from both them.

“Fuck, you're so tight, so tight for me, babe,” Louis hisses, grabbing hold of Harry's cock and pumping in rhythm with his uneven thrusts. Harry arches his back, his mouth hanging open and his eyes closed in pleasure, gasping and shouting Louis' name.

“Lou, Lou, Lou,” Harry chants, as Louis moves inside him, searching for the angle that will make him hit Harry’s prostate. Louis apparently finds it when Harry lets out a louder cry of his name and throws his head to the side in pleasure, Louis latching his lips onto Harry's skin to suck a lovebite.

Harry's chant of 'harder, Lou' has got Louis' slamming harder into Harry, desperately close to the edge. He's never felt so good, so delightfully frustrated to come already with anyone else before. Then again Louis' fighting back the urge to scream out to the whole world at the top of his lungs 'I'm so in love with Harry Styles', it's scratching at his throat, desperate to get out.

“I'm gonna—” Harry gasps, head thrown back in ecstasy. “I'm gonna come, fuck, I—”

“Come for me baby, yes,” Louis mutters, so close as well. Harry takes hold of the base of his cock, pumps a few times, before he's coming in hot spurts across his chest, shouting Louis' name. Harry clenches around him, exquisitely tightening so Louis' only able to do a few weak thrusts before he's following soon after, spilling into the condom as well.

He falls on Harry in a sweaty mess, not caring about Harry's come getting on him while he's still coming down from his high. He pulls out when his dick becomes soft, but hisses at the oversensitivity. He ties off the condom and disposes it the bin, also going for sometowels to clean themselves off with and then nestles back into Harry's embrace.

“That was—”

“Fucking amazing,” Louis finishes for Harry who seems at a loss for words, and Louis is as well. There are only three words simultaneously repeating in his head. _I love you, I love you, I love you._ He doesn't want to scare Harry off, so he pushes those thoughts back.

“Yeah,” Harry breathes and then places a chaste kiss on Louis' lips. And what is this supposed to mean between them? How is Louis supposed to interpret this? Is it only a onetime thing, was Louis just a good shag for Harry and now that he had a taste of him, will he move on?

“Harry, what is this?” Louis asks because he's _so_ so confused, and it doesn't help that his mind keeps jumping conclusion to conclusion, making his vision cloudy of judgment and _so_ lost.

“Something great, I hope?” Harry suggests, his gaze hopeful, “we'll talk tomorrow.”

“You won't leave, promise?”

“Promise.” Harry kisses the top of his head, cradling him to sleep.

And that's the most important thing to Louis, he still has trust issues, is skeptical about love, is anxious most of the time about doing the right thing, thinking people will get tired of him or disappointed with him and eventually will leave. It's happened before, so why shouldn't Louis be worried.

With Harry it's different though, that affection he feels towards Harry completely encompasses him, makes him feel safe, and not it the way Zayn makes him feel safe. Harry's the kindest, most attentive, caring and just all around fun person to be around. Harry's endearing, talented, charismatic, and absolutely the most beautiful thing Louis has ever laid eyes on.

But there is always room for doubt. He's so in love and blinded by it that that's the reason why Harry could and will be his total destruction.

*

Louis' can't believe it.

He absolutely cannot believe Harry left him.

Harry _promised_ him he wouldn't, and now he's left here waking up in an empty bed, the room dead silent. No sign of Harry whatsoever. The sheets beside him are ruffled but empty and cold. Only an illusion of someone having slept there but without a trace. He can't even find Harry's bag or toothbrush, well go figure since he would've packed that, but that crushed the last hope in Louis. Literally.

His blood turns cold and it feels like little needles are pricking at his skin and suddenly he can't breathe.

The thing is; Louis should have known, he should've known this was going to happen. It felt too good to be true even after the promises because every fiber of him was still screaming at him, deep down there was always that doubt eating him away. Kept whispering he was delusional. But Louis didn't care, he batted those thoughts away because he _trusted_ Harry. He even had a little thread of hope that Harry might love him back, that Harry wasn't like everyone else leading him to believe they could be a supportive friend— lover. Thought for once his suspicion was wrong and Harry would prove him wrong and wouldn’t go. He has very few people left in his life. It didn't occur to him that Harry would actually leave him, because after last night he hoped, and so naively thought Harry was worth finally letting go of every negative thing that's been consuming him for so long.

The little things Harry taught him and made him feel. Harry was able to make him see beauty in the gloomy world again. The freedom of letting his heart warm up and beat just a little faster all because of that dimply smile he received from him made him feel alive again. Happy... Not alone. He genuinely thought that Harry might reciprocate his feelings. These were all things that made Louis think there was still hope for him to get better and to not feel like he was drifting. Living his life without actually living it.

He sees now that it was all a lie. Harry took the last piece of his heart still intact, and shattered it into a million little shards just because he realized he didn’t want to deal with Louis’ problems. He doesn't think he'll ever find all the pieces now. There's too much to fix. Too many scattered shards. He can't pick them all up on his own.

From the first time they met, Louis saw it coming. The reason he didn't bother to learn his name, never bothers to learn anyone’s name is because Louis knows if they ever have the chance for Louis to let them in, like he let Harry in; it’s going to be the reason why he would break. And he did.

Louis' crumbling apart, pain surfacing with his memories like screams in a nightmare. This is a nightmare. He holds his head in his hands, urging the memories to go away but it's no use. Images flash in front of him of his mother crying on the floor sobbing angrily and blaming him for existing because Mark left her, his sisters watching them argue scared while crying. It's all his fault because he's not the son she wanted him to be.

His sisters clinging to him when he had to go and leave them forever. He had only cried a little and gave them brief hugs before he was rushed out of the house. At the time he didn't know. If only he'd known. It's all his fault because he wasn't the brother he was supposed to be.

His father coming to visit him only to say he's a disappointment and a burden to this family and to never contact him or sisters ever again. How alone and scared he had felt that night. How in one night his life shattered.

Louis feels the air tightening around his lungs, suddenly feels like he's suffocating when really he's on the verge of crying. Pain’s not even the right word for it. Inside he's burning and freezing. It's like fire and ice, both of them occurring simultaneously, only one's too hot and burns him and one's too cold and freezes him. But they both leave a scar behind in the end. His heart hurts the most. He can’t decide if it feels like someone’s ripping it out or stabbing it with thousands of daggers. He can’t decide if it’s already ripped out and only the pain of it being there is what the pain is.

More images invade him and the next thing he sees is himself standing in front of a mirror or maybe an alter ego of himself, the room pitch black around him, his alter ego scolding him condescendingly for being a pathetic idiot, for stupidly believing that things could change. All because of his delusions about Harry. The problem is with Louis, and no matter what he tries to do, he will never be able to fix it because he’s screwed up. Harry now knows that too. And the worst thing is Harry doesn’t even know half of it.

"I can't—" Louis feels like hyperventilating, he's losing himself while slowly falling through the cracks. Air is suddenly getting harder and harder to acquire. "I can't breathe—" He needs to get out of here right now. He needs to get away. It’s still early in the morning, he can still make it in time.

He knows it's probably the middle of the night in the UK at the moment, but he dials up the number anyway. After that he packs up all his things and storms off in search of Paul before he lets the stray tears falling away from his face turn into a steady stream. He won't let anyone see him like this. He can't. Not even himself.

 

He somehow manages to keep it together on the course of his bus ride to the airport, returning with a couple of students who only went for a week, Louis himself only just about managing to receive someone's return ticket (who couldn't make the trip anyway) in the last minute in a haste to get away. He called Eleanor earlier to tell her that she'll have to fly out for the last couple of days left of the trip, she assures him she's coming either way. He somehow manages to send Zayn a text with shaky hands, letting him know where he disappeared to, not answering back when Zayn replies with 'what happened?'. He's also ignoring texts from Harry and declining his calls, choosing to just turn his phone off completely.

Louis hops off the bus with a heavy sigh, making his way over to the check-in with the others. He's trailing behind them slowly because he doesn't really know them, or actually wants to hold a conversation with anyone right now. He waits patiently until it's his turn to check his suitcase in. There aren't many people on the airport now anyway.

“I'm sorry, sir, but you can't get on the plane,” says the woman at the desk, informing Louis sternly with a heavy accent. Louis jolts up, a bit surprised by suddenly getting addressed, his mind also in another place.

“But I have a ticket right here.” Louis looks at her incredulously, showing her his ticket once more.

“The ticket is not in your name, you are not allowed to board the plane with it,” she says after checking his passport and ticket again. Louis huffs out exasperatedly, rubbing his temple. No, no, this can't be happening.

“Well, no, but can you change it to mine? I have permission. It's not in use, the person didn't even come,” Louis tries to persuade her, but the woman only shakes her head in return.

“No, it isn't allowed.”

“What do you mean it's not allowed?” He furrows his brow, looking at her in confusion. Surely they could do something to work this out.

“Tickets are non-transferable. If your name on your passport doesn't match the name on the ticket, no fly,” the woman states, her voice heavy and her tone harsh, clearly not up for negotiating with Louis.

“What if I got his passport?” Louis tries but the airport personnel doesn't respond and her serious look doesn't falter. “Okay, fine, are there any free seats? I'll buy one.”

“That will be S/4000.”

“How much is that in pounds again?” Louis asks as he's searching for his wallet in his pocket.

“800.”

Louis' jaw drops, _what_? How is he supposed to have that much on him? “I don't have that kind of money. Can I please just use this ticket?”

“I already told you no. And if you can't accept that, I will have to call security,” the woman warns and is already reaching for the phone. Louis sighs in defeat and retreats with his shoulders slumped and without another word.

He quickly informs the others that he won’t be able to come with. They leave him hesitantly, worriedly asking if he’ll be okay on his own. _I already am,_ Louis wants to say and he bites back his response of a _no_. Instead he assures them he’ll be fine and he’ll probably head back to the hotel in a taxi. They reluctantly say goodbye and Louis waves them off but not before they give him some change for the ride back with a sad empathetic smile. Louis desperately wants to argue and insist that they take it back but there’s no way of convincing them so he thanks them and tries not to well up.

He only starts crying when he breaks down on one of the chairs, curling in on himselfandstarts sobbing uncontrollably. This day couldn't get any worse.

*

Sometime later he wakes up groggily, his face crusty from his dried tears. He figures he must've just passed out eventually out of exhaustion. Louis slowly hauls himself off the uncomfortable seat and pads over to a couch, wanting to rest on something softer and more comfortable. His back is a bit strained from sleeping on the metal frame of the chair.

He contemplates on actually going to back to the hotel, or to just wait until the others magically appear when they get to the airport in the afternoon. But he doesn't really know what to do. Honestly, he just feels numb. Like nothing actually matters anymore. He feels like there's a puzzle piece missing from him, ripping a hole inside him and letting everything flow through it. He wants to cry, but the tears just burn in his eyes without ever falling. He probably bawled himself dry and now he's not able to cry anymore. The same woman at the desk is still eyeing him warily, like she doesn't know to either feel sorry for him or send him away. He sees that it's almost noon on the clock mounted on the wall.

He sighs. There's still a lot of waiting to do if he stays here and he doesn't really want to be here any longer, to be honest. He'd rather be somewhere a little more... comfortable. 

Louis decides to eventually get up and call a cab to go back to the hotel. There's no point in staying here, he might as well just catch some sleep before they go to Brazil. Hopefully Eleanor won't be nagging him too much. He doesn't feel like holding up a front with her. He also doesn't quite feel like telling Zayn yet— or maybe ever. And  _Harry_... how is he supposed to confront Harry? Oh right, by  _not_  confronting him and avoiding him.  _Nice plan, Tomlinson_. He shakes his head at himself.

He manages to sneak back into his room unnoticed, briefly letting Paul know he's still here and promising to fill him in later about what went wrong. Bloody stupid the whole thing, is what it is.

Louis locks the door for good measure, dropping his bag down next to another one, which he fails to notice on his way to the bed. He buries himself in the pillow and tries to just sleep, excluding everything around him.

He tries to anyway, but the necklace dangling from his neck suddenly catches his attention and he holds it out in front of his face to inspect it further. Honestly, he's forgotten all about it. True that he's never taken it off, it has become an integral part of him, so he never really noticed it before. But now as he's looking at the silver paper plane, all he wants to do is rip it off and throw it back in Harry's face. He tries to rip it off, but doesn't really have the heart to do it and stops halfway. He stops too late though, and breaks the chain anyway.

Louis yells frustrated, cussing under his breath. He didn't mean to, he didn't want to tear it off. He tucks the remains into his palm and keeps holding onto it as he slowly starts to hiccup an angry sob, and cries himself to sleep again.

 

A few hours later he's woken up by loud banging on his door. Louis groans and places the pillow above his head, trying to muffle the sound. It's not nearly as effective as he anticipated it would be. Maybe if he ignores it, it will go away.

_Bang, bang, bang._

Dammit, it was worth a try.

Louis places the broken necklace on the bedside table and pads to the door half-heartedly (how ironic) but still doesn't go to actually open it, hoping the person gave up. His suspicion is proven wrong when the banging continues.

“Lou, open up, please,” Harry pleads, bangs on the door again and continues, “I know you're in there, and I'm not going anywhere until we talk.”

Louis' heart clenches and his entire body goes rigid, because how _dare_ he. How dare Harry demand to talk to him after what he's done? Zayn probably told him to check up on him, he figures. Louis can't believe this. He feels so angry, so heartbroken, letting Harry have the chance of ruining him again is absolutely preposterous.

He contemplates on just ignoring Harry, maybe forever and go back to the bed and cry for eleven years. He decides to get closure instead, maybe yelling at Harry will help.

“What do you want?” Louis opens the door and almost rips it off with the force. The sight in front of him is mortifying because Harry looks pale and is also looking at Louis with red eyes.Was he crying? Why was _he_ crying?

“Please, Louis, can we talk?” Harry asks, his tone desperate and sad. Louis' so confused and mad, heat starts rising in his chest. He feels aggravated right now, like what could Harry possibly say to him that won't make him crumble even more?

“What do you want from me?” Louis retorts, tears threatening to spill, and no he's not going to cry, not in front of Harry. Not when he looks like a kicked a puppy, with big sad and guilty eyes.

“What happened? Was it because of me? Because we slept together?”

“I'm a fucking messbecause of everything, because of _you_! I can't be fixed! You promised me you wouldn't leave, and—” Louis can't control it anymore and breaks down on the end of the bed in dry heaves, tears furiously clouding his vision, before continuing, “do you know how hard it is for me to let people in? It's because everyone leaves me or gets taken from me, and I really thought you were different and not like the others. The only exceptions are Zayn and Niall who have always been there for me, even after my fucking dad came here and told me I was a disappointment of a son and I can never contact him or my sisters again.

My own mum blamed me for everything that went wrong in our lives. For my real dad leaving her after two weeks because of an unwanted pregnancy, her failed marriage afterwards and then after a while just blamed me for everything else as well. She was so consumed with her current partner that I was completely neglected, and I have several other siblings who need to be taken care of as well. Basically I had to come to terms with myself alone and it was fucking terrifying. Of course when my mum found out she shunned me. Luckily I was already off to Uni by then. And for the first two years I put on an act, I acted like it didn't affect me and I partied every weekend not caring about where my life was going because my family resented me. I was a disappointment and I always would be.”

Louis pauses for a second trying to catch his breath and wipe his eyes, because he's letting it all out now, everything that's haunting him. Everything that has been in the back of his mind, that little voice always whispering in his hear. Now that he's let the dam loose it feels like it's now screaming at him to build it up again. But he's letting Harry know just how screwed up he is, how fucked up he's become. He sees that Harry's on the verge of crying as well, sniffling and listening to Louis intently. 

He doesn't know how he's going say the next thing because it still hurts, it's still recent, still burning. But Harry needs to know, Louis needs to tell him. Might as well.

“The worst thing is that I believed you wouldn't be like those people who only liked me on the outside because I was fun and seemed carefree, but as soon as they got closer it became too much for them. I'm so _stupid_ , I gave the last piece of my heart to you and you _broke_ me,” Louis cries out, his voice cracking on the last word and now angry tears start falling instead. “Why did you? I just fucking had to fall for you, didn't I, I'm so pathetic.”

“No, no, Lou, that's not it at _all_ ,” Harry protests and kneels in front of him to try to get Louis to look at him, but Louis averts his eyes because he can't, it hurts too much.

“Why, have I missed something?” Louis retorts coldly, glaring at the wall. Is this the part where Harry's supposed to let him down easily, because to be frank, he'd rather skip that.

“You're missing the last puzzle piece,” Harry says gently, and Louis is starting to get really annoyed. He doesn't feel like playing games.

“And that would be?”

“I'm so in love with you,” Harry states fondly, not taking his eyes off of Louis for a second while he says it. “I'm ridiculously, madly in love with you.”

“What?” Louis suddenly stands up, Harry leveling with him as well and laces their fingers together, green eyes boring into blue. Louis' too stunned to pull away.

There's a sweet smile playing on Harry's lips as he clarifies softly. “I love you, is that so hard to believe? You're gorgeous, far beyond beautiful. You're enamoring, wonderful, enchanting, lovely, incredible, overwhelming, alluring, and delightful. Absolutely stunning, you took my breath away before we even had a chance to properly meet. I've noticed your eyes constantly shine with joy, even in the midst of pain or sadness and they still glow in that radiant gorgeous blue that keep me constantly captivated. You're a firecracker that no one can handle, but I can tell you those people, who don't appreciate you and can’t see how amazing you are, don't stand a chance and don't deserve your attention. They don’t deserve _you_. I'm _so_ in love with you, how could I not be? I thought it was obvious.”

“But then why did you leave, I thought―” Louis trails off, his brain not wanting to process the information. Harry's in love with him? So Louis wasn't just imagining everything, it wasn't unrequited love. Harry actually reciprocates his feelings.

“I packed my stuff when I woke up and took it down to the bus, so we wouldn't have to bother with it later and spend more time together. I was just about to bring breakfast up for you when Zayn came up to me and told me you left. I thought you didn't want to be with me and that's why you went home, because you didn't want to say it to my face and you were also ignoring my texts and calls so,” Harry explains a bit sadly, seemingly upset by the whole thing just as much as Louis was.

“That's not true, I did want to be, I was hoping you wanted to be with me too, so that's why I left after I woke up alone in an empty room,” Louis elaborates, the memory still raw and painful. “So you only—” he trails off, shaking his head at how fast he made a stupid decision, “a note would've been nice.”

Harry bows his head in regret, but steps closer to rest their foreheads together. “Would you believe me I was so happy that I forgot to, and thought you wouldn't wake up before? I wanted it to be a surprise. I don't know, I'm a hopeless romantic. I tried to go and catch you on the airport, but they told me by the time I would get there it would've already left.”

“You're such a sap.” Louis laughs and finally connects their lips in a desperate kiss, lacing his arms behind Harry's neck. Harry kisses back fiercely and they must look like complete messes, both of them red and snotty from crying, but Louis doesn't care. It is what it is. And he loves Harry so much.

Harry detaches for a moment to get a point across, genuineness etched in his gaze. “Look Lou, I would never take advantage of you like that, and the problem is _not_ with you, you're perfect. The problem is with all the fucked up people who don't realize just how amazing you are. And we're going to get through this together, I promise.”

“I love you. Fuck, Harry, I'm such an idiot.” Louis kisses him again, biting Harry's lower lip between his teeth. He really fucking is, it was all a stupid misunderstanding that rational people don't commit because they talk it out before they make stupid decisions.

“We're both idiots. I'm so sorry.” Harry pulls him even closer for a hug and they cling onto each other for who knows how long.

“I'm sorry too.” Louis gets on his tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on Harry's lips, which soon turns into a deeper and hungrier kiss, Harry hitching Louis off the floor and Louis wrapping his legs around him automatically. Louis tugs Harry's hair to briefly indicate him toward the bed.

Harry holds onto Louis gently, and plops them both on the springy cushions of their hotel bed. They undress each other slowly, not rushing at all because they have all the time in the world. Nothing stopping them now. Louis fondly trails his fingers along the defining lines of Harry's birdies, Harry looking back at him adoringly.

“I want you to be inside me this time,” Louis says out of breath, pressing a kiss to one of Harry's shoulders and then onto his collarbones, finally ending up at Harry's smaller bird.

“Anything, Lou. Fuck, I love you so much,” Harry gasps, making no effort to deny Louis' wishes and makes to search for their necessities in his bag. (Wait, when did that get back in the room?) He finally finds the bottle of lube and a condom and proceeds to open Louis up.

Harry prepares him gently and attentively, stretching him thoroughly, while Louis moans in pleasure above him. When Harry pushes in, time suddenly stops and again it's just him and Harry and nothing else matters. Not his problems, not his past, none if matters because Harry's here and that's all he needs. He loves Harry, and Harry loves him right back. Harry accepts him, _loves_ him and won't leave him.

They're actually making love, this is what it's supposed to feel like. Both of them being together in the most intimate way possible and sharing something that they can only share with each other. The have the most powerful one out of all the infinite ways to share love.

When they come, they both utter _I love you's_ to each other and keep repeating it until they both fall asleep in a tangle of limbs, Harry holding him close and not letting go.

*

The next week goes by in a blur, it turns out that _Team Ziam_ (as Niall ridiculously insisted) is a success in Brazil, Niall getting left alone with the work to do but apparently the lack of Harry and Louis helped bring them closer, which _huh_. Niall basically just had to sit back and enjoy watching it unfold slowly but surely. And yeah, can anyone blame Harry and Louis for getting a bit held up with each other? Especially after Louis was such an oblivious idiot?

Niall also apparently was working behind the scenes with them as well because when he saw them cuddled up together downstairs on the lounge on a sofa, occasionally swapping kisses, he jumped up and started squealing happily and kept chanting ' _yes, finally_ '.

They should probably get him a fruit-basket, or free pints every once in a while.

Finally when they're back in England Louis and Zayn host a supper for their get together with all five of them at their place which they've been planning for ever but never really got the chance to find a date that's convenient for all of them.

Louis makes a recipe he found online and insists on making it alone (to impress Harry of course). Chicken, stuffed with mozzarella cheese, wrapped in Parma ham with a side of homemade mash. Has to be a winner. Niall keeps nicking some of the ham though, so Louis hits him with a wooden spoon every once in a while.

He's just about finished with the dish and final touches when Harry surprises him by coming up behind him and kissing his neck gently before placing the fixed necklace around his neck. 

"Wha– I didn't even know you took this." Louis' taken aback by the sentiment. He had absolutely no idea Harry took it from him for repairing. 

"I had it fixed this week right after we came back," Harry says sweetly, taking Louis' breath away with the way he smiles at him with pure adoration. He thanks Harry by lacing his arms around his neck, giving him a lingering kiss. 

“Eww, you two are disgusting, I'm going to get cavities," Niall yelps from behind them, Louis flailing his arm at him to shut the (still) lilac haired boy up. God only knows why he still hasn't dyed it back. But it's growing on him at least.

Zayn and Liam giggle from their spot on the couch, Liam's are wrapped tightly around Zayn's shoulders. Louis has to admit they're really sweet together but they're still nowhere near the level of Harry and Louis' relationship, who are constantly attacking each other's lips whenever they can. Slowly getting there though. It's a work in progress. Louis can't help but tease Zayn every time he blushes when he mentions Liam.

Louis' also learned to like Liam because it turns out that beneath all the layers that Louis can't tolerate, he's a nice and warm-hearted bloke. They've gotten on pretty well ever since Liam got used to the unusual and constantly mock-way Louis appreciates him.

They're all surprised when Louis' meal turns out to be pretty fucking fantastic. He smiles smugly and gets a kiss from Harry as a reward (and something else a bit later when they're alone).

He also took a new step with the issues for his family; Harry helps him through the little breakdowns and holds his hand while he writes to Lottie. After a little bit of convincing (okay a _lot_ of convincing) and a lot of support from Harry and all of the boys as well got him to write the first message to her in years. They both established with Lottie that it was best if she didn't tell anyone about them getting in contact again, not even Fizzy because it was too risky. But they both had missed each other so much and Louis promises each and every time he write to her that they'll meet again soon. It takes all of Louis' power and Harry's support not to burst out crying every time he reads her eager responses. He’s slowly getting better all thanks to Harry. He completes his missing pieces.

Also, Eleanor flew out as well, which meant Louis didn't really have to bother with writing about the second half of their trip. They schedule a meeting in the shop to briefly put together their own notes and finish their assignment. 

"Nice work, Lou. I'm finally quite impressed with your work," Eleanor says and that's as much of a compliment as she can usually muster. But she's impressed by Louis and that's all he really needs from her as partners.

"Ouch, that must've hurt. Being nice for once," Louis laughs, Eleanor rolling her eyes in response.

"Don't be an arse."

"And she's back!" They both start chuckling at that.

"You seem really happy," she comments, considering him. "And you're positively _glowing_  whenever you check behind the counter to see Harry waving back at you with that goofy dimpled grin."

"I just really am for once," Louis says sincerely and automatically smiles at the mention if Harry. He must _really_ be sporting heart-eyes because Eleanor _smiles_ at him. Actually, genuinely smiles.

"Good, you need that," Eleanor says finally as a farewell and with that she takes her coffee with their assignment papers and leaves with a quick nod. She's not one for heartfelt goodbyes. Louis lifts his hand up in a quick parting gesture and looks behind the counter again. 

So going to South America wasn't Louis' _Greatest Adventure_ , in all honesty. His greatest adventure was the journey to find love. And to find love with Harry. That has been the best thing to ever happen to Louis in his life so far, but he knows with Harry by his side and supporting him, it won't be the last.

He realizes now that he shouldn't be afraid to take chances because not all of them will turn out badly, only being scared of them will make you paranoid and after a while you'll just end up hopeless and feel like there's no point to it because it will ultimately fail. He was like that as well, but Harry helped him see that it's not always true.

Maybe fate did play a little bit into it, but he's so glad it did because he never would've cared to know Harry, if it weren't for their first encounter― or so he thinks, but he'll never really know now. That nameless boy in a headscarf with a head of ridiculous curls, who bumped into him and instantly took his breath away when Louis saw him. The boy who saw him in a dress and thought he was beautiful, even though Louis was kidding when he mentioned it to him and made an absolute fool of himself. The person who holds him tight when he feels scared and the nightmares come. Curly, who munches on bananas like an endearing little toddler he is. Harry, who he makes love with and makes his heart flutter a million miles per hour just at the sight of him. That is the person he chose to fall in love with and honestly, he couldn't be luckier.

So when he glances back behind the counter after Eleanor leaves, he sees Harry mouthing three little words they're so used to uttering to each other by now. It's not quite lost its magic yet and he feels like it never will.

Taking chances isn't easy, but Louis wouldn't be where he is today if it weren't for taking a leap of faith.

Louis doesn't even hesitate before he's mouthing back the words to him, breaking into a fond smile once again as his heart spreads with warmth calling _home_. Harry is his home.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you got this far leave kudos *come on press that button* and comments! Feedback is always appreciated <3 come talk to me [here](http://louissincerely.tumblr.com) if you want :)


End file.
